For You Liv

I’ve got this new joy,

I can’t describe.

I’m happy,

And it’s not based on someone.

No one paid for it.

No one showed me additional affection.

There was no conditional love offered.

It feels weird.

Being happy because of me.

Have you ever been here?

I’m a novice,

Tell me you can hear me clear.

-N

Permettez-Moi De Vous Parler Un Instant

This poem was inspired by one of my favorite authors Jane Austen.
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” -Jane Austen

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I don’t want love.

Not right now.

People think I’m crazy for saying this.

At least I’m honest.

I’ve never lied to my fellow reader,

Only aspired to be a leader.

I’ve never been one for dramatics,

So I won’t pull the script from life’s attic.

I’ve seen no good examples of what people call love.

How can I trust something I barely know exists?

I’ve seen people together,

Because of duty,

Because of religion,

Because of children,

Because of comfortability,

Because, because, because.

Everyone is always talking about love.

Fuck that.

Do you enjoy a good novel?

Do you like to read?

Do you even read?

Do you enjoy expressing your feelings through the liberating art of prose?

Where is your sense of adventure?

What is your definition of life?

Do you,

Do any of you ever have these thoughts from time to time?

Or are we all destined to the doom that is “matrimony?”

-N

Woe To Her

I’m broken,

I can go no more.

It seems that everyone can find,

a friend except in dire times.

Believe me I’ve tried.

I’m beat,

No where left for me to meet,

Deserted here on this dilapidated street.

My words are frozen,

Left in some vampires coven .

I’m lost in a sea of people.

I need relief.

I need an out.

I need a solution,

But all roads lead me to forms of pollution.

I’m fuming,

Brimming to the top with anger,

Aggression, strife, bitterness.

Full of adjectives that will lead any person

to the bitter end.

I have no outlet.

I feel trapped in a sin

That seems to have no foreseeable end.

But you my dear porcelain parchment,

The lover of my black ink,

the silent truth that holds open arms,

and the only truth I see.

Help.

Your most ardent, faithful lover is in need.

Her ink has run dry.

Her passion being only to cry.

But if you come

I know you’ll try

To keep me safe .

I feel nothing.

People feel I’m bluffing,

But alas! darling ,

I believe that to be nothing.

But you can bring me life.

You may have a clue,

This love I have for you,

And can prescribe me a potion,

A brew,

Some stew to help cure me

From this emotional flu.

-Nj

Venus Fly Trap

I found my victim.
A weak, helpless being.
She called herself a girl.
Girl, boy, it doesn’t matter.
In the whole scheme of things it never matters.

She begged,
Pleaded until her voice was gone.
“Mercy!” she shouted.
“Leniency!” she cried.
She shook in her chains,
But that only made me laugh harder.
She spit in my face,
But that only made me harder.

I’m only paying it forward.
I’m only returning the gratitude,
The world has bestowed upon me.
I digress,
Tight with anticipation,
From the final release,
Of my stress.

-N

A Vise Like Grip

Night falls, and she feels awakened.
The goddess yawns and stretches.
The start of her day is here.

She looks for the weak,
The innocent minded,
The mentally insane.
Those are her comrades for the night.

She breathes in the fresh piss-scented air.
She laughs joyously upon hearing the sounds
Of debauchery, and whispered dares.

“Je veux baiser!” she yells through the alleyways.
“Je veux le chaos!” she screams to anyone who will listen.

She cried for an angel,
But received a demon.
And for that she will have her vengeance.

-N

A Letter

Dear O,
I love you,
I always will.
You reminded me,
to be myself.
You told me that I could do anything,
And I believed it.

People lie,
They tell you what you want to hear;
But you never did.
You’ve always kept your word.

You’ve told me in confidence that you felt trapped.
You told me that the world was closing in on you,
And you needed a place to be free.
I now know what you mean.
Now I know what it means.

-N

Sleepless

I took myself dancing last night.
My heart was so happy, and my feet light.
I took flight.
For hours on the dance floor my body took flight.

I looked around the dimly-lit room,
People so close together, and yet so far away.
Drawn by the sway,
Or the courage of the moon on the bay.

I moved to the center of the room,
Nodding my head to the pulsing of Flume.
I was new,
I was through with being a shrew.
I danced, laughed, and took a brew.

-N

Goodbye

It seems we are at a standstill.
I don’t know how I should feel.
I love you but I am afraid.
Afraid of what they’ll say,
Afraid of you being away,
Afraid.

I wish I was stronger.
I wish I could give you something that’ll last longer.
You gave the whole portrait of yourself.
I asked in the beginning,
You said yes, and danced along the shelf.

I wanted to as well but I was scared of what I would see in myself.
I haven’t looked in a mirror in so long,
Wanted to avoid the memories of a sad love song.
I prolong.

I have to be honest,
So I can let you go,
And you find someone full of promise.

-N

A Dedication For Her

Hello world!
I was reading a certain woman’s blog today. Hearing some of her story, and what they’ve had to overcome has been beautiful, amazing, and inspiring. Being able to share your story, no matter the difficulty, always inspires me to write, and to never give up. This is for you E.

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You see I’ve been broken,
I’ve been held back,
Uninspired,
Lost,
And any other adjective the powers that be would have it.

I love life,
Yet I’m criticized for it.
I love food,
But I’m told to not consume in abundance.

I shall travel one day.
I shall have my vengeance on those that naysay.
I should try,
To defy,
All those that say I can’t do.

Who dare to correct me?
I’m like a bird you see.
A lot to see and not enough time for a reprieve.

I shall eat a peach,
I shall preach,
On what you can do for me.
You should be my congregation and agree.
Not aggrieve,
Disagree.
It matters not what you choose to be.
You shall see world.
You shall see.

-N