Fear Conquered… (Sort of?)

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” -Henry Ford

Hello, world!

This morning has been nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. The entire self-publishing process seems to have come to an end for my first book. It releases on Friday on Kobo, Barnes and Noble.com, and Amazon. Everyone who needs to be notified already has, and now here comes the stressed-out part:

Waiting.

One would never guess that waiting could cause anxiety. But it can. When you’ve done all you can, poured your heart and soul into something you treasure, the only thing you can do is wait. Some people will love it, others will hate it, but the only way to truly know is to wait. Still, I commend everyone who has walked before me. Everyone who has taken a chance on their dreams and did what others thought was impossible.

I love you all,

-NR

A Untitled Ode To……..

“You gon have to do more than just (say it)
You gon have to do less when you (do it)”

-Tory Lanez

………..

…Women.

Just give me time,

I’ll be there if you co-sign.

Let me take what’s mine.

Even though you didn’t consider my countless dimes.

I’m trying.

It’s not looking too well.

I’m not interested in buying what you sell.

You’ve lost your appeal.

That’s the only thing that has become real.

-N

 

Jours et Nuits

There’s a discord,

between me and reality.

I’m living but I’m really not.

I’m breathing, but it’s artificial.

I keep feeling stuck,

But I have no idea on who to call.

I’m having another sleepless night

There’s a war raging within me.

I keep fighting the deep abyss,

I keep fighting gravity.

I keep soldiering on.

I keep walking on.

-N

For You Liv

I’ve got this new joy,

I can’t describe.

I’m happy,

And it’s not based on someone.

No one paid for it.

No one showed me additional affection.

There was no conditional love offered.

It feels weird.

Being happy because of me.

Have you ever been here?

I’m a novice,

Tell me you can hear me clear.

-N

Permettez-Moi De Vous Parler Un Instant

This poem was inspired by one of my favorite authors Jane Austen.
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” -Jane Austen

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I don’t want love.

Not right now.

People think I’m crazy for saying this.

At least I’m honest.

I’ve never lied to my fellow reader,

Only aspired to be a leader.

I’ve never been one for dramatics,

So I won’t pull the script from life’s attic.

I’ve seen no good examples of what people call love.

How can I trust something I barely know exists?

I’ve seen people together,

Because of duty,

Because of religion,

Because of children,

Because of comfortability,

Because, because, because.

Everyone is always talking about love.

Fuck that.

Do you enjoy a good novel?

Do you like to read?

Do you even read?

Do you enjoy expressing your feelings through the liberating art of prose?

Where is your sense of adventure?

What is your definition of life?

Do you,

Do any of you ever have these thoughts from time to time?

Or are we all destined to the doom that is “matrimony?”

-N

Woe To Her

I’m broken,

I can go no more.

It seems that everyone can find,

a friend except in dire times.

Believe me I’ve tried.

I’m beat,

No where left for me to meet,

Deserted here on this dilapidated street.

My words are frozen,

Left in some vampires coven .

I’m lost in a sea of people.

I need relief.

I need an out.

I need a solution,

But all roads lead me to forms of pollution.

I’m fuming,

Brimming to the top with anger,

Aggression, strife, bitterness.

Full of adjectives that will lead any person

to the bitter end.

I have no outlet.

I feel trapped in a sin

That seems to have no foreseeable end.

But you my dear porcelain parchment,

The lover of my black ink,

the silent truth that holds open arms,

and the only truth I see.

Help.

Your most ardent, faithful lover is in need.

Her ink has run dry.

Her passion being only to cry.

But if you come

I know you’ll try

To keep me safe .

I feel nothing.

People feel I’m bluffing,

But alas! darling ,

I believe that to be nothing.

But you can bring me life.

You may have a clue,

This love I have for you,

And can prescribe me a potion,

A brew,

Some stew to help cure me

From this emotional flu.

-Nj

Venus Fly Trap

I found my victim.
A weak, helpless being.
She called herself a girl.
Girl, boy, it doesn’t matter.
In the whole scheme of things it never matters.

She begged,
Pleaded until her voice was gone.
“Mercy!” she shouted.
“Leniency!” she cried.
She shook in her chains,
But that only made me laugh harder.
She spit in my face,
But that only made me harder.

I’m only paying it forward.
I’m only returning the gratitude,
The world has bestowed upon me.
I digress,
Tight with anticipation,
From the final release,
Of my stress.

-N