An Incurable Romance Writer
I’m caught within time.
I’m caught between two lives.
The face I portray to the world, and you.
The face I give when it’s just me.
When I look in the mirror.
I’m afraid.
That you won’t like what I have to say.
That you won’t like what I feel.
That you may find me too sensitive or to passionate.
That I may not be enough.
Of course I could mold for you.
See the instant dislike and become whoever you desire.
But I fear I may lose my heart in the process.
I fear.
I fear.
I fear.
-N
It’s in the words.
This dream confused me.
For the life of me, I can’t let it be.
Our stomachs pressed together.
Dur et doux.
Why would that stick out to me?
Why should I be turned on by your stomach against my own?
My heart was racing, thighs and panties wet,
Ready to be your pet.
It was then I paid attention.
You whispered words in my ear.
Non-stop words.
Nonsensical, fast, slow, words.
With every word you spoke,
My mouth watered.
My skin pulsed.
My eyes dilated.
I wish I could remember the words you said to me.
I wish I could hold them close for the lonely nights.
I wish I could carry them with me like I do my sight.
It was the words.
The words.
Words.
-NR
Me?
Fortune?
Fame?
Love?
A soul?
It’s one thing to say something.
Another thing to mean it.
What would it take?
For you to put it all at stake?
My dream was you gave me you.
But now I know that it’s not true.
-NR
See it was like this.
I was trying to tell you but….
There was a road…
You and me….
Not three.
My heart couldn’t belong to you.
It looked like there was nothing you could do.
-N
I woke from a horrible dream.
It has me frayed at the seams.
I’m unstable,
unsure,
and unclear.
A pair of hands kept choking me,
People were dying,
No one could hear me crying.
I think that’s what scared me the most.
Not the fact that I couldn’t breathe;
Not the fact that I could see the devil himself seethe;
It was the the simple realization that no one could hear me.
Isn’t that what we fear the most?
No one to hear us in times of trouble,
and be able to come close?
I look for peace in a song,
But even Haim can’t help me in this circumstance.
It seems I am helpless,
sleepless,
restless.
So I keep running.
I keep running.
-N
On this auspicious day,
I have a few words to say.
I’m tired of keeping them at bay.
I’ve kept track of others,
Tried not to smother.
Other,
Brother,
You have no idea.
(Sip)
What I knew,
What I know,
What I will know,
I hope to sow.
I hope to educate,
To instill,
To-
What?
Am I even making sense?
Have I tried to become another great leader?
Gandhi perhaps?
Oh, I’ve definitely snapped.
(Sip)
It must be this brew,
This gin,
This elixir,
This brew that frees the tongue.
I digress,
Man I feel stressed.
(Sip)
I wanna dance,
Does that make sense?
I want to move my legs.
Lately they feel like pegs.
Good looking,
Shapely pegs,
But pegs none the less.
(Sip)
Wait, who has pegs?
Is Captain Sparrow here?
My conscience is clear.
For once it’s not working overtime in 5th gear!
Who shall I think for this impossible feat?
Did You perhaps cheat?
(Sip)
I want meat,
but not any kind of meat.
I want….
“I just want you to come over….” -C.B.
You know how I feel.
You know what’s real.
Ill, will, seal,
You know the deal.
I’m dizzy,
from being on the continuous wheel.
My hearts open,
I hope you steal.
beg, borrow, anything.
Boy, you make me squeal.
You are it.
You are the ideal,
The thing I reach for,
The thing I’m trying to grab.
The one I nag,
grab,
snag,
anything to keep from calling and stabbing the phone for a cab.
I’m stuck.
I wanna go,
flee, leave.
My skin is tingling,
ready and waiting for your’s and mine skin to mingle.
Please don’t leave me single.
I’m insane.
My friends tell me to use my brain,
They say, “Nicole don’t strain.”
But I complain.
I need you like the earth needs rain.
I toss and turn but it’s all in vain,
Feeling drained.
Please, help me abstain.
But there you are standing,
holding that wretched glass of champagne.
-N
Life is going by, and
I can’t seem to fly.
This black tie is holding me back.
You see I’m normally so spry.
I lie in, I don’t know
anticipation, for the hard,unforgiving
sensation, condensation, gyration you
provide.
While I’m astride you,
People chide,
give me looks of snide.
Trying to hold back my progress.
But I digress.
My success,
is in the love you possess.
It’s in my feelings in which you
so gladly acquiesce,
address,
to my distressed spirit.
I can’t fly
because I need you here.
Please lend an ear.
Don’t disappear.
-N
JustNicoleRenee 