Réalisation D’une Femme

You made it.

You reached that point in your life,

Where you’re done with the worry and strife.

You wished things stayed the same,

Not realizing that it was nothing but a game.

Gone are the days of blasting music from a busted car,

even though you remember those warm crazy nights from afar.

You did things that you now laugh about.

You danced until your feet throbbed.

You fell in love until you sobbed.

You made mistakes,

Which often ended in backaches.

Mais tu as grandi.

You’re no longer that bright-eyed pup.

Breathe in the fresh air,

Ignore the dare,

And take care.

Laugh at the ones before you,

Sit down and watch them stew,

While you catch a breath and take a brew.

Welcome to womanhood.

-NR

 

Le Soi Assuré Femme

She had a bright smile,
Long black curly hair,
And a confident way about her.

This woman wore a white dress,
Strappy heels,
And a ring on her index finger.
No make-up,
No expensive handbag,
Just herself.

She was reading a book,
Deeply invested,
Breath arrested,
Eyes being tested.

All of a sudden she threw her head back and laughed.
A full-out, no-holds-barred laugh.

This woman had not a care in the world,
She laughed until her sides ached,
She laughed as if fully baked.

Oh how I envy that woman.
Who could laugh without a care in the world.
Who could throw her head back and enjoy life,
Who could soak up the sun without any strife.

-N

Prove It To Me In The Nude……..

Heart beats quickly.
I can’t breathe.
This heady sensation.
No don’t stop,
keep going.
If all I can have is pleasure,
Then let me treasure.

Laying on this bed,
feels like paradise.
My heart feels compromised;
Yet I roll the dice.

You lean over my body.
You whisper in my ear,
You tell me things a woman should hear.

Feeling open,
Exposed,
Where is the fire coming from?
This internal steam.
You make me cream.
You scare me because you make me dream.

Dream about more than the average,
To reach for something above and beyond.

Because of your hands,
You have me doing things I don’t understand.
You make me second guess what I thought I knew.
How could I never had a clue?

You hold my body as a person should.
You tell me to trust,
You tell me it’s a must.
I’m trying, but it’s hard.

I tell you but you kiss me,
Hold me,
Shake your head and tell me that you can keep me safe and warm.
I shake my head and disagree.
I tell you,
It’s so hard to give something you fear being broken.
Used,
Overlooked.

You caress my face,
And tell me of a place we will go.
You tell me to close my eyes,
And you will make all the worry subside.

Seen, scream, beam.
You know the theme.

I take a sip from the flask,
and take off the mask.

-N

I’m Still Waiting

“You’re just a lover out to score
I know that I should be looking for more
What could it be in you I see
What could it be..” -Deniece Williams (Silly)

Hello world!
So first, thanks for all the love you have shown to my poems. It’s an honor that you are reading my poetry. It’s the perfect outlet for me. I’ve always been a writer, and will always be one whether you’ve read it or not, but it’s nice to know that it’s appreciated. (Feeling self-important here please ignore lol)
Now on to the topic at hand.
So, as you know, I’ve been through some ups and downs for the 2014 year. Although I’ve been vague on my exact reasons, you can guess that they’ve been pretty bad. Worse at times even. But I’m not here to have a pity party, or to gain sympathy. I’m trying to enlighten and help someone who may feel the same as me. You see, as an avid observer of relationships (both fiction and non-fiction)I have seen the top and the bottom. It’s also sad when fiction becomes more reliable than the real thing.
Men my age, tend to not be interested in settling down. To me, that’s fine, because this isn’t the 50’s and 60’s so who wants the wife/kids/dog combo by 25?
Not realistic I tell ya.
But what happens when you see the older generations feeling trapped, or forced to be with someone? And not for love?
What happens then?
On a re-run on the Steve Harvey show (Christmas that’s the reason for the daytime television encore shows) He said that if a man is really serious about you, or even remotely interested he will have the 3 P’s: protect, provide, and possess. What does it mean if you don’t see it?
I hear people say all the time that you don’t want to rush a man, you shouldn’t pressure him, or he left because you just weren’t holding up your end of the bargain.
HOW IS THAT FAIR IN ANY WAY!
In my senior year of college for my British Literature class we read Mary Astell, whom I have grown very fond of (completely obsessed over) and in one of her letters she talks about women being in a constant lose-lose situation. How we are mocked if we care about clothes,furniture/decorating, and babies, but mock us if we don’t, calling us to manly, or too involved in education.
SO WHAT NOW?
I’m not mocking any woman who wants these things. I’ve even mentioned in my previous post how I have complete respect for the housewife. The problem I’m having is finding someone I can trust, and who will live up to his end of the bargain.
What I’m trying to say, if i’m saying anything at all is that I understand. I want to feel completely loved, have an adventure buddy, and a lover to call mine. The problem is, every time, the woman seems as if she has so much more to lose than the man.
Am I ready for that?
And what does this hold for women in the future? Are we bound to always having to settle?

-N

Ahead

It’s not the holidays that have me full of cheer,
Nor the consumption of beer.
Truthfully it’s the upcoming fear,
That is near.
The next year is just about here.
For the first time I’m clear.
Free of the hustle and bustle of constants sneers.
Free from the inhumanely leers.
peer, sheer, jeer,
You know what’s real.
There’s a change in me,
and for once it’s letting me be.
I can see!
Darling please pass me the tea.
I’m here on solid ground,
I’m future bound,
And it’s more than my heart can compound.
People have kept me in the past.
They’ve kept me down,
trodden,
sad.
Now I’m glad,
I can no longer be mad.

-N

Reality Setting In

“Never do a single thing in the anticipation to prove something to someone who has hurt you. If someone has hurt or offended you (whoever that person may be), never perform anything or strive for anything in your life with the mind of proving something to that someone/ to those people. May nothing that you do be done with any thought of them in mind. There is nothing that needs to be proven.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Hello world!

Sorry for the delay. I want to make sure that I have something good to say, that’s why I wait.

That’s what I tell myself.

Yesterday was tough. Real tough. Recent developments have happened in my life forcing me to make drastic decisions I never thought I would have to make. It hurts because when you thought you finally found some peace, or that you could open yourself up to trust, you find out that it was all a false sense of security to begin with. The quote above really struck me because most people do things to prove a point to someone. You know the usual, “I’ll show you,” or, “They will regret ever ignoring me,” spiel. The reason that line of thinking is a losing battle is because you are letting that person control you’re actions. You shouldn’t give that person the satisfaction of your brain time. I say all this to say I too was having the same line of thought until this morning. I woke up, made some decisions, and set about being a whole new person. Not one that isn’t recognizable but one that realizes the error of her ways, and a person willing to not only rectify, but make sure these mistakes are not repeating.

I hope this is able to reach you. If you are hurt, hurting, or wanting a way to start over know that you’re not alone. That no matter how hard it gets, no matter the circumstances you can finish the task given. A wise woman told me to forgive and move on. Not for them, but for yourself.

-N