A Pitch-Black Realization

There’s a darkness,
That lives in me.
I try to keep it at bay.
But these heartless people,
this compassionless world,
has birthed the evil inside me,
And kept the joy and mirth at bay.

You say to me,
Nicole don’t be that way,
Nicole it’s all just hearsay,
Nicole, Nicole Nicole.

No!
YOU were supposed to help me sleep!
YOU were supposed to keep the peace!
But I digress.

No one can be your happiness.
This world will take advantage,
But I’ll manage.

You will see,
No one can be,
As cruel as a woman such as me.
You’ll agree,
Beg and plea!

But too late the queen has been unveiled,
hanging the next victim,
from the silk tree.

-N

My Condemned Maze

I keep looking,
for a lover that is divine.
sublime,
anything but that single shot
laced with lime.
How can I find,
a peace of mind?
Can someone please show me a sign?
Can my body be entwined,
aligned, assigned, combined?
Can anyone really settle a unconscious mind?
That stupid word:
Love
Is that why it’s blind?
a grind,
a dulled shrine?
Why can’t I retreat,
from this vicious, unfair, unkind treat?
Not I. Not I.
I am no different from the rest,
who are always trying to best,
even test,
me.
I am you, them, everyone.
I am the sheep surrounded by millions
waiting for the inevitable attack of the lion.
I long for the feel of his claws,
for his hot breath against my ear.
I shiver for the silver tongue who creates mirages I know I shouldn’t,
but can’t help believe.
I crave the smothering feeling of his flesh on mine.
I wait in anticipation for the strangle of his words
grabbing hold of my heart.
I’m a captive burning up in flames, that water cannot contain,
I can’t place blame,
shame,
even say my name.
-N

Thoughts? (Day 2 of Nikki’s poems)