I was in the slums.
Mentally drained and felt no relief.
I tried valiantly to free myself.
But my soul and body were warring with one another,
causing a discord within me.
I would smile then scream,
Become reflective and deprecating.
I need a lil’ bit of-
I need this fog to clear.
This block in my eye.
keeps preventing me from the fly.
Confused at my own thoughts.
I shouldn’t click but I do.
I can’t keep my thoughts straight.
A song comes on the radio.
I feel that I should go.
Mon esprit me dit toujours non.
You are a drug.
I swear I’ll never go back.
Just one more time.
But then I see your name,
and it’s like a sign.
Times, minds, drawn.
I can barely get my thoughts out tonight.
Because what’s promised is more delight.
Is it selfish?
To want to feel this for only me?
To not care about you,
To not care about what anyone else feels.
I want to take,
I never got to before.
I’ve always given,
Put myself on the back burner.
I tell you the rules.
Instead of being bothered,
You only smirk.
Glance my way,
And take off your pants.
Draped across the bed,
You tell me to take what’s mine.
We’ve got nothing but time, is what you said.
I have your pleasure,
But only if you take mine.
This has never happened to me before…
I desire to never be afraid,
Yet I stand trembling.
I want to be free.
Yet I’m chained to this bed that has me adrift like the sea.
What I want,
Seems more like a haunt.
I am my own worst enemy.
I am the problem that keeps getting in the way.
People love to blame another.
They love to think of something,
That made them go asunder.
The evil that lies within the earth.
The negative down under.
What if it was just us?
What if we held ourselves back?
What if I am the invisible line that I cannot cross?
Night falls, and she feels awakened.
The goddess yawns and stretches.
The start of her day is here.
She looks for the weak,
The innocent minded,
The mentally insane.
Those are her comrades for the night.
She breathes in the fresh piss-scented air.
She laughs joyously upon hearing the sounds
Of debauchery, and whispered dares.
“Je veux baiser!” she yells through the alleyways.
“Je veux le chaos!” she screams to anyone who will listen.
She cried for an angel,
But received a demon.
And for that she will have her vengeance.
I want someone to bite,
I need you to give me a task.
I need you to open the flask.
I need you to tell me your fantasy.
Then I’ll know my destiny.
She had a bright smile,
Long black curly hair,
And a confident way about her.
This woman wore a white dress,
And a ring on her index finger.
No expensive handbag,
She was reading a book,
Eyes being tested.
All of a sudden she threw her head back and laughed.
A full-out, no-holds-barred laugh.
This woman had not a care in the world,
She laughed until her sides ached,
She laughed as if fully baked.
Oh how I envy that woman.
Who could laugh without a care in the world.
Who could throw her head back and enjoy life,
Who could soak up the sun without any strife.
When I was tired,
You kept me uptight and wired.
When You needed a hand,
I gave you a leg to stand.
In the grand scheme of things I feel scammed.
But I command.
I had to learn your technique.
I need a healing balm.
Instead I’m faced with a bomb.
Day in, Day out,
I can’t keep holding on.
I can’t be a spawn,
In this con.
I’ve put on my red chiffon.
I want to be free,
But there always seems to be a fee.
People hold you back,
Sometimes get you off track,
Leaving you to pick up the slack.
I took myself dancing last night.
My heart was so happy, and my feet light.
I took flight.
For hours on the dance floor my body took flight.
I looked around the dimly-lit room,
People so close together, and yet so far away.
Drawn by the sway,
Or the courage of the moon on the bay.
I moved to the center of the room,
Nodding my head to the pulsing of Flume.
I was new,
I was through with being a shrew.
I danced, laughed, and took a brew.