I’m back again.
I tried to leave but it didn’t work.
I tried to leave it behind but it came back.
It goaded me back into its dark confines.
I couldn’t say no.
I was on the straight and narrow for a while.
Proud that I was able to start again.
I’ve said that line for too long.
But the temptation was too strong.
The lure of your wicked promise so decadent.
High enough to feel but not enough to breathe.
This is reckless and-
You brought the necklace back.
Yeah, you read it correctly.
I’m only saying what other people are thinking.
Of what others are feeling.
What lies within all of us.
What we are afraid to let out.
What’s the worst that could happen?
I’m like the rest of you.
I’m the coward that pretends to be appalled,
Secretly marveling at the tales being spun.
Does that make me a deviant?
Tu pourrais être rude c’est ce que je veux
Look at me.
An absolute mess because of my thoughts centering you.
My friends tell me I’m crazy about this dream I once had.
They all laugh and mock till my foolish heart bleeds,
For the love it truly needs.
I dreamt of a man,
who took my hand,
and told me I needn’t do much,
just get used to his touch.
How could I?
It was all elusive to me.
you see, love never came to me.
How could I just be?
Yet he whispered in my ear,
told me things that made me shiver,
that promised to deliver.
It felt so real that to this day,
I sit here waiting,
for my dream man.
So today I did something I thought I would never do: I let all my Facebook friends and family know about my book. I have kept this secret for over a year, and to finally be able to announce my book will be published come the first week of November gave me so much joy. I have always kept quiet about things in my life, deciding to use my platform to congratulate others and talk about news events that are shaping our world.
But not today.
No, today I flexed a bit. And I’m not mad about it. It caused my mind to wander into the whys. Why don’t we shout our accomplishments from the rooftops? Why are we afraid to sometimes show others how far we’ve come? I know that I’ve been taught as a young girl to not be boastful. I would agree only to an extent. If you have worked hard, given everything to a project, or something you love, you should boast about it. So people understand your passion, but how proud you are of accomplishing what most would think the unattainable.
Another reason why I posted today my truth, is because I want everyone to know that you don’t always have to do things the conventional way. My life, up to this point was conventional. I went to school, went to grad school, then entered the workforce. Every day for a year and a half, I woke up at an ungodly hour, commuted to the city, and did my nine to five. Was I truly happy? No. But I did what society expected from me. We cannot do that.
As a people, we have to learn to be individuals. We have to do what is right for us, and not what someone thinks is right for us? You get me? Let’s start that trend. Instead of being followers, find our own path, and try that door. If it fails, you could always do the conventional thing.
But I don’t think you’ll fail.
I’m unsure of which way to go.
I just don’t know,
If I should show.
I used to glow.
walk through the pines,
Now I feel lost.
I’ve wrote about this before,
but I at least had one plan sure.
Please help me find a cure.
I’m addicted to a certain kind of drug.
Something no hug can debug.