I was confused as to what it means to write poetry.
Schools used to tell me what the definition meant,
I tried to follow their guidelines, but it wasn’t for me.
I just had to be.
I was hesitant to write about what I really see,
things concerned with strife.
I thought I had a handle on what it means to write poetry.
To always be introspective, and allow the audience to see the deepness in you.
The raw, the honest, may come off as too brutal,
I went to my local library and immersed myself in the works of Solmaz Sharif,
Jenny Xie, and Carmen Gimenez Smith. I smiled when my hands ghosted across Maya Angelou, and sighed when I saw the well-loved and worn books of Lord Byron.
Each style was unique.
It was uniform in the fact that it had no uniform.
I loved being squeezed between the old bookshelves.
They were free of scorn.
I’m caught within time.
I’m caught between two lives.
The face I portray to the world, and you.
The face I give when it’s just me.
When I look in the mirror.
That you won’t like what I have to say.
That you won’t like what I feel.
That you may find me too sensitive or to passionate.
That I may not be enough.
Of course I could mold for you.
See the instant dislike and become whoever you desire.
But I fear I may lose my heart in the process.
I’m sorry that I’ve been M.I.A. My grad work has picked up, and I’ve also been writing the sequel to my romance book. But, I have some good news. I have released a new book! Today! This one is just a small book of poems, and I’m more nervous about this one than any other work. Maybe because it’s not fiction. I mean, it’s thoughts, and feelings, and it’s more of who I am than a romance novel. I’m wondering if any of you feel this way? That you can write anything, except when it’s about you?
No? Just me?
Anyway, if you want to read something interesting, (LOL) and support an indie author, then click the link below. If you find yourself overwhelmed with the poems, then be kind and leave a review. I love you all, and I hope to be back up here tonight with some more stuff.
Love, Undefined: https://amzn.to/2LsLvq8
Words fail me.
My mind won’t rest,
And let me be.
I can’t breathe.
Trying to see.
Hard to believe,
What the world has done to me.
Tears run down my face,
Not much more I can take.
You left me for a while.
But you came back.
Moving like a runningback.
I have no slack.
I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.
What I’ve written,
What you’ve made me do.
I still haven’t truly processed what you’ve made me do.
My heart was broken.
I want you in too many ways.
I can’t say no though.
It’s not good for me.
This is a drug.
But I have to take another hit.
Just once more.
Then I promise I’ll go.
Promets juste que tu-
In more ways than one.
I stand here in the night,
Waiting for that light.
That effervescent, unavoidable feeling,
That would explain this clear ceiling.
That’s been wheeling, stealing, taking all my feelings.
I’ve spent too much time kneeling.
My thoughts are jumbled.
I don’t know what to feel.
I want to say more,
But I’m not sure.
If I stay, I might become a bore.
I’d rather not be mentally sore.
No, I’d rather feel like folklore.
Unattainable, with a touch of womanly intrigue and lure.
I don’t like being torn.
I say yes, but I don’t mean it.
I say no, but eyes say otherwise.
It’s not fair.
Making you out to be a mind reader.
But it’s what I want.
I need for you to decide.
I need you to tell me otherwise.
Pouvez-vous voir ce que mon desir ardent pour moi me fait?
Say you’ll stay even when I scream at you to go.
Say yes even when I sound bitter and tell you no.
I’m a small disaster you see.
I don’t I’ll ever just be.
I looked up,
And you were there.
I tried to speak,
But you shook your head.
I stepped back.
You walked forward.
“I went too far,” you said.
“I took too much,” you pled.
“I should’ve tried,” you shouted.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to fight.
Anything but feel this.
This burning in my chest.
This racing heart.
“I lost myself along the way with you,” I spoke quietly.
I walked forward.
You stepped back.
You tried to speak,
But I shook my head.
“No. It’s my turn to speak.”
I can feel a change coming over me.
I’ve said this before.
I battle with a lot.
This other part of me.
This double life I’m living.
Beautiful one day,
Wrecked the next.
Nothing is enough.
Nothing satisfies me.
There is no limit.
My friends tell me I’m crazy about this dream I once had.
They all laugh and mock till my foolish heart bleeds,
For the love it truly needs.
I dreamt of a man,
who took my hand,
and told me I needn’t do much,
just get used to his touch.
How could I?
It was all elusive to me.
you see, love never came to me.
How could I just be?
Yet he whispered in my ear,
told me things that made me shiver,
that promised to deliver.
It felt so real that to this day,
I sit here waiting,
for my dream man.