Birthday

It’s funny how a year can change you.

Your outlook on people, places and circumstances shift.

The hope you had, the love you hoped for, the-

Yeah.

I love birthdays.

Simply because I’ve grown wiser and hopefully stronger.

Because even though I struggled, I persevered enough to see another year.

That in itself is a win.

I’ve finally gotten to a point where I have no expectations from people.

And since then I’ve become the happiest, simply because I control the outcome.

This is such a liberating feeling that I-

Yeah.

-N

Narcoleptic

My eyesight is weak.

Littered with tears and scratches.

My heart is heavy, and tight.

Filled to the brim with spite.

My dreams didn’t come true.

The prince never came,

Instead of fair-game I became framed.

I was held back by choices.

I should’ve ignored those voices…

Honestly, the pills look inviting,

The black abyss seems a peaceful existence.

I should take my pleasure in the unknown void.

Isn’t that what we search for anyway? Peace and quiet?

Maybe I should skip to the end to avoid the constant pain,

Pay for the arraign I have surely obtained.

-N

Wanderlust

The time has come.

Its past midnight and the road is calling me once more.

The cool air that was once abhorred yet now adored.

Hypnotically I walk past the broken promises and false confidence,

Stepping, hopefully, into the brutal, beautiful, and truthful path of life.

-N

Insidiously

I’m angry that my panties get wet when I hear the low timbre of your voice.

My heart races when I hear you breathing on the phone,

The deep chuckle,

The sigh followed by the dial tone.

I cannot deny,

The feeling of satisfaction I feel,

Whenever I leave that house in Noe Valley depleted and bone dry.

-N

Gray Area

I’m hoping my intuition will tell me if I got it wrong or right.

My faith is broken.

My heart is hardened,

I find myself unable to pardon a soul for even the tiniest of sins.

I’m a hypocrite because I need my own wrongdoings wiped away.

How ironic,” The devil whispers in my ear, pure amusement in his tone.

-N