…Finally

It took some time,

Lost friends and family along the way, and it made me realize,

What’s important.

It took a lot of self-reflection,

Periods of not knowing,

To understand that I do know.

Thirty-one seems like a small feat to some,

But to me I’ve lived for enough lifetimes to come.

-N

…Anonymous

I’m back again.

I tried to leave but it didn’t work.

I tried to leave it behind but it came back.

It goaded me back into its dark confines.

I couldn’t say no.

I was on the straight and narrow for a while.

Proud that I was able to start again.

I’ve said that line for too long.

But the temptation was too strong.

The lure of your wicked promise so decadent.

High enough to feel but not enough to breathe.

This is reckless and-

You brought the necklace back.

Yeah.

-N

Expressions & Definitions

So I posted a new podcast episode. I read Edge Pieces by Brooke Freeman. She has a blog up on WordPress titled, “Low Expectations,” and I highly recommend you go and read some of her poetry. I will have her as a guest for next week’s podcast. If you are interested in reading some good poetry check her out, or click here to listen as I read her poem Edge Pieces.

-N

Low Expectations: https://lowexpectations56373273.wordpress.com

Addiction

Les Abysses

I try to tell it to stay away sometimes,

And for a while It will listen.

Appalled at my behavior to be kind,

Listen to reason,

Try and see the other’s person’s growing season,

IT wants nothing to do with me.

But there are weeks when it comes back.

Past midnight IT whispers in my ear tempting me with sin and delight!

How I bite my lip and withhold my moans for fear of IT noticing and my thoughts take flight.

I try to-

I just need-

Force these positive thoughts in and-

Est-ce que ca me tuerait de vivre une nuit de depravation?

IT walks toward me bed,

hovering over my face.

I can smell the sweet scent of his breath and the allure of-

No one can know.

This secret I hold dear.

Else I won’t be seen how I should be.

Instead they’ll only know of what became of me.

-N


	

To My Love, Amir.

I’m suffocating.

I see my brothers and sisters dying for no reason, and it guts me.

Driving while black,

Sleeping while black,

Eating while black,

Talking while black,

Laughing while black,

Dancing while black,

Learning while black,

and the lists goes on.

There is no justice for me,

No peace for me.

Even though they tell me there will be.

Be what?

More pain?

More suffering?

I’m so used to physical pain,

I don’t know how to exist in a realm of sane.

This plague on my brain….

Yet I can’t complain.

Not supposed to anyway.

I’m just supposed to sway in the distance,

not be resistant,

be tolerant and coexistent.

Tell that to the people that oppress me.

That try to steal the light from under me.

I want to yell like a banshee,

but I have to be still, sit and grin with quiet glee.

It’s the American way they say.

American being white.

The white way.

Because that’s the right way.

To point out all the faults within this system would be unpatriotic.

But how can that be? At least for me?

My people worked these streets,

and built these buildings hoping one day they’d get a chance to truly see!

The need to return home is prevalent,

It is making me more than malevolent.

Oh to waddle in the dark night.

I straddle the fence of what is wrong, and right.

Ohhhhh, to be wrong for just one night.

-N

Pink Horizon

I took off the mask,

Basked in the knowledge that I am free.

I have been liberated,

the invisible chains have been broken,

I’m no longer worth a token.

The toxicity of this realm has stifled me.

Forced me to dwell in places that I never meant to be.

In, win, depends,

You know the drill.

I used to hold myself back,

So they’d cut me some slack.

I’m past all of that.

Going into a new year,

I’ve made a vow to be honest with myself.

To live my best life,

else I end up detesting myself.

-N

*Make sure to check out my podcast where I talk about all things poetry!

https://anchor.fm/nicole-renee5

Sadist

You left me for a while.

But you came back.

I have no slack.

I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.

What I’ve written,

What you’ve made me do.

My heart was broken.

I want you in too many ways.

I can’t say no though.

It’s not good for me.

This is a drug.

But I have to take another hit.

Just once more.

Then I promise I’ll go.

Promets juste que tu-

*Excerpt from my poetry book Love, Undefined By Nicole Renee. You can purchase it here.

Calling All Poets!

So, I have a podcast.

It’s on Anchor and Spotify. The name of my podcast is Expressions and Definitions by Nicole Renee. My station is themed around all genres of love. Hate, longing, betrayal, first-love, acceptance, self-love. I successfully interviews my first guest and it will air tomorrow. However, I would like to interview more up and coming poets. On Wednesday I would read your work, talk about it, and such, and that next Monday I would have you on my show to talk about your work. If you write any poems geared toward love and want a bit of exposure, then please contact me here, at my website or email. I will leave them in this email. Thank you so much and I look forward to hearing from all of you!

-Nicole

Author website: www.authornicolerenee.com

email: nicolew301@gmail.com

I HAVE A PODCAST!

YAY!

So, I have a podcast. It’s available on Spotify. It’s called Expressions and Definitions by Nicole Renee. I read poems centered around love and interviews new poets on what love means to them. I posted this here because I wanted to seek out poets. If you have some poems themed around love, (It can be sad, anger, betrayal) please contact me as I’d love to feature you!

-Nicole