So I’ve been self-reflecting all day. At the gym, in the grocery store, even on the drive home. One thing that stuck out to me is how far I’ve come. Around this time last year I was struggling. Both emotional and physical. I’ve made so much progress. The sun on my face added to my feelings of peace, joy, and optimism. Something that was seriously lacking from me. Everything is finally looking up. And I’ve got to say It’s about time.
So today marks my 3 year anniversary with WordPress! (The longest relationship I’ve ever had) Some people would shrug it off, or say that it’s no big deal, but to me it is. I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me this year in 2015, and getting that brief notification brightened my already sunny day. I’ve lost a bit of my steam recently, and I think the reason is because I’ve been suffering from writers block. (And by writer’s block I mean staring at a blank word document screen as if it’s retarded or something) I was suffering from not finding enough words to say, and that always scares me. I was feeling this way until I heard some music.
And by music I mean Ne-Yo latest sex themed cd.
Now some people find inspiration from the strangest things; I know food is one of many inspirational ways I get a word or two out; but it was something about these songs, and the underlying message. Now to the average person it’s about meeting someone, falling in love, and the actual act of love. Paired with some upbeat gym songs, you’ve got an average 2015 top Billboard album. But maybe it’s the adult-ness (if that’s a word) to the songs created; It seems as if his music has reached another level, and I along with others are able to participate in this music-driven journey.
Or maybe it’s me. I feel that I’ve matured and reached another level. I have evolved, especially in my writing, and you guys were here to see me become more skilled at a hobby that I love. I hope you all are good. I hope the past year has been good so far, and that you too have evolved into the person you want to become.
“I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you, but I must say…Hi. How ya doin?” -Flynn Rider (Tangled)
So you know that moment when you think someone is about to say (or do) something profound and they don’t?
Well that just happened to me today. And boy was it horrible. The situation, (which details I will not bore you with) got me thinking about The Peter Principle. If you’re not familiar with the PP let me break it down for you: A person that will reach his or her highest level of incompetence and continue to stay in that place.(And boy have I seen that frequently)
I guess what I’m trying to say, If I’m saying anything at all is that, is that everybody has their specific duty in life. Some are meant to break barriers, some are meant to be leaders; and some are meant to be mother’s and teachers who guide the future generations in the right direction; but I think that we should have the common sense to at least know who is placed where, especially in a corporation where people’s lives, and livelihood is at stake.
Or maybe we’ve reached out level of incompetence, and are stuck.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know which way,
I feel stuck.
I wish I could put into words how I feel.
It’s really making me ill.
I feel bitter,
but something more.
I feel tired,
But there’s gotta be another word.
I feel beat up.
The world’s got it’s licks,
that’s for sure.
I can’t even rhyme.
I feel like i’m out of time.
I need to be alone.
I need to go somewhere and lick my wounds.
I need to go where I can find comfort.
I need a fort.
I need to not feel emotionally drained when I first wake up.
Can you help me?
You see, my mind won’t let me be.
So I’ve been pretty busy.
What with TRYING TO GET PUBLISHED AND ALL!
Anyways it has been an interesting road. I’ve been at it for a while, and at first I was nervous.
But after starting this blog, and getting encouragement from you guys has really helped me to push on.
So look out 2015!
Anyways this is a quick note to say thank you for everything that you have done for me, and my writing.
Hugs & Kisses for all!
“Girls you’ve gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.” ― Tori Amos (From the Choirgirl Hotel)
So, a couple of days ago I told you that I was applying to my alma mater for graduate school. After I applied and hit send, I’ve been thinking non-stop for the past couple of days about my future. Thoughts like, “Did I make the right choice,” or “What if this isn’t the major for me,” have been running rampant through my head.
You see I’ve always wanted to make a positive impact, or show change to someone who was in my position. I wanted to show other young women and girls that even when it seems the odds are against you, you can still succeed. I also knew that in my head for all my talk of bravado, and self-confidence I knew the only real reason I was picking CSU Fresno was because it was my safety zone. I picked a safe major (english), a pretty safe place, and a very predictable atmosphere; but I wanted to shake things up. So I looked into other programs. And guess what?
I am now a proud student at Strayer University. that’s right folks, you’re girl right here is an M.B.A. student.
Oh I’m scared out of my mind; (I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry) But I realized that I am changing, and I should try something that makes me work even harder to achieve my goal. So in a couple of weeks, your girl Nikki is hitting the books once again.