I was down today.
I didn’t have much to say.
In all actuality I had thoughts,
But I fear my truth will keep me caught.
So I pretend, and in a way become brought.
I stayed tied in knots.
I was at the point of depression.
Caught in the confession of my accession to my oppression,
When I received relief that came as a sweet, cool decompression,
I was in this wonderful feeling of refreshen.
My comfort comes in words.
In the feelings they bring.
Of that life-changing comfort that causes one to sing.
Such a perfect thing.
A kindred spirit is hard to find,
That is why I’m here to remind,
And make sure that you’ll be kind,
To my love affair,
That I’ll swear without fanfare,
Words fail me.
My mind won’t rest,
And let me be.
I can’t breathe.
Trying to see.
Hard to believe,
What the world has done to me.
Tears run down my face,
Not much more I can take.
You left me for a while.
But you came back.
Moving like a runningback.
I have no slack.
I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.
What I’ve written,
What you’ve made me do.
I still haven’t truly processed what you’ve made me do.
My heart was broken.
I want you in too many ways.
I can’t say no though.
It’s not good for me.
This is a drug.
But I have to take another hit.
Just once more.
Then I promise I’ll go.
Promets juste que tu-
I don’t know how I feel about love.
I see the desperation around me.
The need for people to belong, never to be.
Why does that baffle me?
I’m astounded, flabbergasted, embarrassed.
Not for me, but for you.
I hope my befuddlement will one day hold the clue.
That I seem to need,
So that I can be free.
Stuck in this prison of my own making.
I don’t see the need for companionship.
Have I been burned too many times?
Have I missed my one person,
I have no shrine.
I used to have dreams of how love would go.
But that turned out-
I’m afraid of not feeling what everyone else does.
Am I broken?
Then why do I feel free?
Spreading my legs and throwing my head back in joy.
I’m not shackled down,
Ready to drown,
Packed to leave town.
It’s one thing to say something.
Another thing to mean it.
What would it take?
For you to put it all at stake?
My dream was you gave me you.
But now I know that it’s not true.
In more ways than one.
I stand here in the night,
Waiting for that light.
That effervescent, unavoidable feeling,
That would explain this clear ceiling.
That’s been wheeling, stealing, taking all my feelings.
I’ve spent too much time kneeling.
My thoughts are jumbled.
I don’t know what to feel.
I want to say more,
But I’m not sure.
If I stay, I might become a bore.
I’d rather not be mentally sore.
No, I’d rather feel like folklore.
Unattainable, with a touch of womanly intrigue and lure.
You made it.
You reached that point in your life,
Where you’re done with the worry and strife.
You wished things stayed the same,
Not realizing that it was nothing but a game.
Gone are the days of blasting music from a busted car,
even though you remember those warm crazy nights from afar.
You did things that you now laugh about.
You danced until your feet throbbed.
You fell in love until you sobbed.
You made mistakes,
Which often ended in backaches.
Mais tu as grandi.
You’re no longer that bright-eyed pup.
Breathe in the fresh air,
Ignore the dare,
And take care.
Laugh at the ones before you,
Sit down and watch them stew,
While you catch a breath and take a brew.
Welcome to womanhood.
I don’t like being torn.
I say yes, but I don’t mean it.
I say no, but eyes say otherwise.
It’s not fair.
Making you out to be a mind reader.
But it’s what I want.
I need for you to decide.
I need you to tell me otherwise.
Pouvez-vous voir ce que mon desir ardent pour moi me fait?
Say you’ll stay even when I scream at you to go.
Say yes even when I sound bitter and tell you no.
I’m a small disaster you see.
I don’t I’ll ever just be.
I looked up,
And you were there.
I tried to speak,
But you shook your head.
I stepped back.
You walked forward.
“I went too far,” you said.
“I took too much,” you pled.
“I should’ve tried,” you shouted.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to fight.
Anything but feel this.
This burning in my chest.
This racing heart.
“I lost myself along the way with you,” I spoke quietly.
I walked forward.
You stepped back.
You tried to speak,
But I shook my head.
“No. It’s my turn to speak.”
I can feel a change coming over me.
I’ve said this before.
I battle with a lot.
This other part of me.
This double life I’m living.
Beautiful one day,
Wrecked the next.
Nothing is enough.
Nothing satisfies me.
There is no limit.