An Incurable Romance Writer
I am my own worst enemy.
I am the problem that keeps getting in the way.
People love to blame another.
They love to think of something,
That made them go asunder.
The evil that lies within the earth.
The negative down under.
What if it was just us?
What if we held ourselves back?
What if I am the invisible line that I cannot cross?
-N
I’m locked in a room.
A room of my own choosing,
But a room nonetheless.
I need to breathe,
So I could seethe.
Constantly gnash my teeth,
Is that yellow?
I need space.
My body waits in anticipation for the fates.
Hurry say something!
Say something quick before I die!
Don’t lag,
Or be shy.
I need you like the sun needs the sky.
I’m disappearing you see,
This drink won’t let me be.
I need food.
Nourishment for the body and soul.
I have no control.
The voices I hear are becoming louder,
The ominous footsteps closer,
Walking to the beat of a silent composer.
My breath stops,
My heart skips a beat.
The door swings open,
My body completely frozen.
I’m locked in a room.
A room of my own choosing,
But a room nonetheless………
-N
Heart beats quickly.
I can’t breathe.
This heady sensation.
No don’t stop,
keep going.
If all I can have is pleasure,
Then let me treasure.
Laying on this bed,
feels like paradise.
My heart feels compromised;
Yet I roll the dice.
You lean over my body.
You whisper in my ear,
You tell me things a woman should hear.
Feeling open,
Exposed,
Where is the fire coming from?
This internal steam.
You make me cream.
You scare me because you make me dream.
Dream about more than the average,
To reach for something above and beyond.
Because of your hands,
You have me doing things I don’t understand.
You make me second guess what I thought I knew.
How could I never had a clue?
You hold my body as a person should.
You tell me to trust,
You tell me it’s a must.
I’m trying, but it’s hard.
I tell you but you kiss me,
Hold me,
Shake your head and tell me that you can keep me safe and warm.
I shake my head and disagree.
I tell you,
It’s so hard to give something you fear being broken.
Used,
Overlooked.
You caress my face,
And tell me of a place we will go.
You tell me to close my eyes,
And you will make all the worry subside.
Seen, scream, beam.
You know the theme.
I take a sip from the flask,
and take off the mask.
-N
It makes me feel alive.
It makes me feels things I haven’t felt in such a long time.
I’m a slave to the ink.
I’m adulterous to the blank paper.
I commit all of the seven deadly sins to see the smile,
The look of appreciation on your face.
To see the review you leave in memory,
In my place.
I see space.
Here is my offering.
I hope you take it.
No, don’t hesitate,
take,
Pillage,
Consume.
I do.
I can’t seem to stop.
My God, have I reached the top?
Have I lost my mind?
Where is the time?
Where’s Alice?
She’s normally here to save me from this malice.
Me,
I need it.
I inhale it.
I lay by my bed waiting for more.
More…
Inspiration,
More….
Perspiration,
More….
Motivation,
No condensation.
Breathe
In,
Out.
Eyes closed.
Open,
You’re still here.
My dream.
You haven’t let me down,
You’re always there.
You’re still here.
Keeping me warm and clear.
I’ve never traveled down this road before.
It’s been full of strife and tears.
Will you two disappear?
come to naught?
You get my drift.
I need this lift,
this gift.
-N
“All my young girls round me say get this money and screw these men…..”-Jeni
I want, I want, I want.
I need, I need, I need.
Whose gonna feed
heed, reed, speed,
I can’t proceed.
I’m in a vibe,
Can’t be bribed.
Emotions,
moving in a continuous slow motion,
Same.
Thoughts running freely,
Can’t see clearly.
Mind feels crazy,
wavy,
incomprehensibly hazy.
Do you always watch me?
I’m losing composure.
-N
JustNicoleRenee 