I’m caught within time.
I’m caught between two lives.
The face I portray to the world, and you.
The face I give when it’s just me.
When I look in the mirror.
That you won’t like what I have to say.
That you won’t like what I feel.
That you may find me too sensitive or to passionate.
That I may not be enough.
Of course I could mold for you.
See the instant dislike and become whoever you desire.
But I fear I may lose my heart in the process.
I’m sorry that I’ve been M.I.A. My grad work has picked up, and I’ve also been writing the sequel to my romance book. But, I have some good news. I have released a new book! Today! This one is just a small book of poems, and I’m more nervous about this one than any other work. Maybe because it’s not fiction. I mean, it’s thoughts, and feelings, and it’s more of who I am than a romance novel. I’m wondering if any of you feel this way? That you can write anything, except when it’s about you?
No? Just me?
Anyway, if you want to read something interesting, (LOL) and support an indie author, then click the link below. If you find yourself overwhelmed with the poems, then be kind and leave a review. I love you all, and I hope to be back up here tonight with some more stuff.
Love, Undefined: https://amzn.to/2LsLvq8
I was down today.
I didn’t have much to say.
In all actuality I had thoughts,
But I fear my truth will keep me caught.
So I pretend, and in a way become brought.
I stayed tied in knots.
I was at the point of depression.
Caught in the confession of my accession to my oppression,
When I received relief that came as a sweet, cool decompression,
I was in this wonderful feeling of refreshen.
My comfort comes in words.
In the feelings they bring.
Of that life-changing comfort that causes one to sing.
Such a perfect thing.
A kindred spirit is hard to find,
That is why I’m here to remind,
And make sure that you’ll be kind,
To my love affair,
That I’ll swear without fanfare,
You left me for a while.
But you came back.
Moving like a runningback.
I have no slack.
I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.
What I’ve written,
What you’ve made me do.
I still haven’t truly processed what you’ve made me do.
My heart was broken.
I want you in too many ways.
I can’t say no though.
It’s not good for me.
This is a drug.
But I have to take another hit.
Just once more.
Then I promise I’ll go.
Promets juste que tu-
I don’t know how I feel about love.
I see the desperation around me.
The need for people to belong, never to be.
Why does that baffle me?
I’m astounded, flabbergasted, embarrassed.
Not for me, but for you.
I hope my befuddlement will one day hold the clue.
That I seem to need,
So that I can be free.
Stuck in this prison of my own making.
I don’t see the need for companionship.
Have I been burned too many times?
Have I missed my one person,
I have no shrine.
I used to have dreams of how love would go.
But that turned out-
I’m afraid of not feeling what everyone else does.
Am I broken?
Then why do I feel free?
Spreading my legs and throwing my head back in joy.
I’m not shackled down,
Ready to drown,
Packed to leave town.
It’s in the words.
This dream confused me.
For the life of me, I can’t let it be.
Our stomachs pressed together.
Dur et doux.
Why would that stick out to me?
Why should I be turned on by your stomach against my own?
My heart was racing, thighs and panties wet,
Ready to be your pet.
It was then I paid attention.
You whispered words in my ear.
Nonsensical, fast, slow, words.
With every word you spoke,
My mouth watered.
My skin pulsed.
My eyes dilated.
I wish I could remember the words you said to me.
I wish I could hold them close for the lonely nights.
I wish I could carry them with me like I do my sight.
It was the words.
I don’t like being torn.
I say yes, but I don’t mean it.
I say no, but eyes say otherwise.
It’s not fair.
Making you out to be a mind reader.
But it’s what I want.
I need for you to decide.
I need you to tell me otherwise.
Pouvez-vous voir ce que mon desir ardent pour moi me fait?
Say you’ll stay even when I scream at you to go.
Say yes even when I sound bitter and tell you no.
I’m a small disaster you see.
I don’t I’ll ever just be.
I can feel a change coming over me.
I’ve said this before.
I battle with a lot.
This other part of me.
This double life I’m living.
Beautiful one day,
Wrecked the next.
Nothing is enough.
Nothing satisfies me.
There is no limit.
Yeah, you read it correctly.
I’m only saying what other people are thinking.
Of what others are feeling.
What lies within all of us.
What we are afraid to let out.
What’s the worst that could happen?
I’m like the rest of you.
I’m the coward that pretends to be appalled,
Secretly marveling at the tales being spun.
Does that make me a deviant?
Tu pourrais être rude c’est ce que je veux
Look at me.
An absolute mess because of my thoughts centering you.
My friends tell me I’m crazy about this dream I once had.
They all laugh and mock till my foolish heart bleeds,
For the love it truly needs.
I dreamt of a man,
who took my hand,
and told me I needn’t do much,
just get used to his touch.
How could I?
It was all elusive to me.
you see, love never came to me.
How could I just be?
Yet he whispered in my ear,
told me things that made me shiver,
that promised to deliver.
It felt so real that to this day,
I sit here waiting,
for my dream man.