There’s No Oxygen In The Room

No one understands me.
I’m pretending.

I’m not sure who I am.

I’m not sure you’ll like who you really see.

I’m not sure I can freely be me.

My heart hurts.

My chest burns.

I have no relief.

I can’t seem to see straight.

The weight of the world is on my shoulders.

I have no relief.

I can’t tell the truth.

It won’t set me free.

My body is tired.

I know no other option.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this.

Maybe my pain can give someone else comfort.

A moment of bliss.

My truth is I cannot tell it.

I hate myself.

I hate my thoughts.

My wants, and desires, and hope,

It’s been stripped from me.

Yet I have to be strong.

Always strong.

I cry at night and in the dark.

So that in the day I’m light and full of false snark.

-NR

This. Here. Now. I-

I don’t know how I feel about love.

I see the desperation around me.

The need for people to belong, never to be.

Why does that baffle me?

I’m astounded, flabbergasted, embarrassed.

Not for me, but for you.

I hope my befuddlement will one day hold the clue.

That I seem to need,

So that I can be free.

Stuck in this prison of my own making.

I don’t see the need for companionship.

Have I been burned too many times?

Have I missed my one person,

My destiny,

My sign?

I have no shrine.

I used to have dreams of how love would go.

But that turned out-

No.

I’m afraid of not feeling what everyone else does.

Am I broken?

Then why do I feel free?

Spreading my legs and throwing my head back in joy.

I’m not shackled down,

Ready to drown,

Packed to leave town.

-NR

La Dépendance Secrète Que Je-

It’s in the words.

This dream confused me.

For the life of me, I can’t let it be.

Our stomachs pressed together.

Dur et doux.

Why would that stick out to me?

Why should I be turned on by your stomach against my own?

My heart was racing, thighs and panties wet,

Ready to be your pet.

It was then I paid attention.

You whispered words in my ear.

Non-stop words.

Nonsensical, fast, slow, words.

With every word you spoke,

My mouth watered.

My skin pulsed.

My eyes dilated.

I wish I could remember the words you said to me.

I wish I could hold them close for the lonely nights.

I wish I could carry them with me like I do my sight.

It was the words.

The words.

Words.

-NR

I Didn’t Want To Breathe Out…..

I’m late.

In more ways than one.

I stand here in the night,

Waiting for that light.

That effervescent, unavoidable feeling,

That would explain this clear ceiling.

That’s been wheeling, stealing, taking all my feelings.

I’ve spent too much time kneeling.

My thoughts are jumbled.

I don’t know what to feel.

I want to say more,

But I’m not sure.

If I stay, I might become a bore.

I’d rather not be mentally sore.

No, I’d rather feel like folklore.

Unattainable, with a touch of womanly intrigue and lure.

-NR

Five-Star Reviews

So I’m Goodreads famous.

LOL.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been stressing about my book. Whether or not people will love it if it will sell successfully. I expected average reviews. 3-4 stars rating. But to get five? That is absolutely amazing! It’s been an adventure. And now that I’ve gotten my feet wet, I am writing furiously for my second novel. I think all the jitters and kinks have been worked out.

Also, if you guys are interested, click the link below and give the book a look-see.

I love you all,

-NR

http://amzn.to/2q6vsTY

Permettez-Moi De Vous Parler Un Instant

This poem was inspired by one of my favorite authors Jane Austen.

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” -Jane Austen

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I don’t want love.

Not right now.

People think I’m crazy for saying this.

At least I’m honest.

I’ve never lied to my fellow reader,

Only aspired to be a leader.

I’ve never been one for dramatics,

So I won’t pull the script from life’s attic.

I’ve seen no good examples of what people call love.

How can I trust something I barely know exists?

I’ve seen people together,

Because of duty,

Because of religion,

Because of children,

Because of comfortability,

Because, because, because.

Everyone is always talking about love.

Fuck that.

Do you enjoy a good novel?

Do you like to read?

Do you even read?

Do you enjoy expressing your feelings through the liberating art of prose?

Where is your sense of adventure?

What is your definition of life?

Do you,

Do any of you ever have these thoughts from time to time?

Or are we all destined to the doom that is “matrimony?”

-N

Woe To Her

I’m broken,

I can go no more.

It seems that everyone can find,

a friend except in dire times.

Believe me I’ve tried.

I’m beat,

No where left for me to meet,

Deserted here on this dilapidated street.

My words are frozen,

Left in some vampires coven .

I’m lost in a sea of people.

I need relief.

I need an out.

I need a solution,

But all roads lead me to forms of pollution.

I’m fuming,

Brimming to the top with anger,

Aggression, strife, bitterness.

Full of adjectives that will lead any person

to the bitter end.

I have no outlet.

I feel trapped in a sin

That seems to have no foreseeable end.

But you my dear porcelain parchment,

The lover of my black ink,

the silent truth that holds open arms,

and the only truth I see.

Help.

Your most ardent, faithful lover is in need.

Her ink has run dry.

Her passion being only to cry.

But if you come

I know you’ll try

To keep me safe .

I feel nothing.

People feel I’m bluffing,

But alas! darling ,

I believe that to be nothing.

But you can bring me life.

You may have a clue,

This love I have for you,

And can prescribe me a potion,

A brew,

Some stew to help cure me

From this emotional flu.

-Nj

Next In Line

Hello world!
So I’ve been self-reflecting all day. At the gym, in the grocery store, even on the drive home. One thing that stuck out to me is how far I’ve come. Around this time last year I was struggling. Both emotional and physical. I’ve made so much progress. The sun on my face added to my feelings of peace, joy, and optimism. Something that was seriously lacking from me. Everything is finally looking up. And I’ve got to say It’s about time.
-N
=)

The Peter Principle

“I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you, but I must say…Hi. How ya doin?” -Flynn Rider (Tangled)

Hello world!
So you know that moment when you think someone is about to say (or do) something profound and they don’t?
Well that just happened to me today. And boy was it horrible. The situation, (which details I will not bore you with) got me thinking about The Peter Principle. If you’re not familiar with the PP let me break it down for you: A person that will reach his or her highest level of incompetence and continue to stay in that place.(And boy have I seen that frequently)

I guess what I’m trying to say, If I’m saying anything at all is that, is that everybody has their specific duty in life. Some are meant to break barriers, some are meant to be leaders; and some are meant to be mother’s and teachers who guide the future generations in the right direction; but I think that we should have the common sense to at least know who is placed where, especially in a corporation where people’s lives, and livelihood is at stake.

Or maybe we’ve reached out level of incompetence, and are stuck.
Who knows?

-N