I’m Still Waiting

“You’re just a lover out to score
I know that I should be looking for more
What could it be in you I see
What could it be..” -Deniece Williams (Silly)

Hello world!
So first, thanks for all the love you have shown to my poems. It’s an honor that you are reading my poetry. It’s the perfect outlet for me. I’ve always been a writer, and will always be one whether you’ve read it or not, but it’s nice to know that it’s appreciated. (Feeling self-important here please ignore lol)
Now on to the topic at hand.
So, as you know, I’ve been through some ups and downs for the 2014 year. Although I’ve been vague on my exact reasons, you can guess that they’ve been pretty bad. Worse at times even. But I’m not here to have a pity party, or to gain sympathy. I’m trying to enlighten and help someone who may feel the same as me. You see, as an avid observer of relationships (both fiction and non-fiction)I have seen the top and the bottom. It’s also sad when fiction becomes more reliable than the real thing.
Men my age, tend to not be interested in settling down. To me, that’s fine, because this isn’t the 50’s and 60’s so who wants the wife/kids/dog combo by 25?
Not realistic I tell ya.
But what happens when you see the older generations feeling trapped, or forced to be with someone? And not for love?
What happens then?
On a re-run on the Steve Harvey show (Christmas that’s the reason for the daytime television encore shows) He said that if a man is really serious about you, or even remotely interested he will have the 3 P’s: protect, provide, and possess. What does it mean if you don’t see it?
I hear people say all the time that you don’t want to rush a man, you shouldn’t pressure him, or he left because you just weren’t holding up your end of the bargain.
In my senior year of college for my British Literature class we read Mary Astell, whom I have grown very fond of (completely obsessed over) and in one of her letters she talks about women being in a constant lose-lose situation. How we are mocked if we care about clothes,furniture/decorating, and babies, but mock us if we don’t, calling us to manly, or too involved in education.
I’m not mocking any woman who wants these things. I’ve even mentioned in my previous post how I have complete respect for the housewife. The problem I’m having is finding someone I can trust, and who will live up to his end of the bargain.
What I’m trying to say, if i’m saying anything at all is that I understand. I want to feel completely loved, have an adventure buddy, and a lover to call mine. The problem is, every time, the woman seems as if she has so much more to lose than the man.
Am I ready for that?
And what does this hold for women in the future? Are we bound to always having to settle?


Feeling Inspired

“Good things happen when you meet strangers.” Yo-Yo Ma

Good Afternoon world!

Normally I don’t post twice a day but since I’m out of class early, and putting off studying for finals until tomorrow I decided to post once more.

Today I was checking my emails, and it gave me a notification that someone from WordPress liked my post, and even commented on it. Now those of you who are basically blog superstars, and have people follow you almost instantaneously you probably think I’m a little nutty for getting this excited but I can’t help It! I’m acting like a Twi-Hard fan on crack who finds out they’re making another movie happy!

I created this blog with the intention of just writing, and getting my online portfolio going so employers In my field of study could take a glance at it. But then I really started to enjoy the writing and topics I was coming up with, and it was making me happy. After a while of writing you do want someone to respond, or at least agree, or like with what you’re saying. Anyways after this person liked my post I then started smiling, and thinking how amazing it is that the work you think is bad or mediocre someone else finds enjoyable.

It also had me thinking how we as humans spend our entire lives trying to make sure that everything we do is precise, and perfect to the point of being anal. We want others to see our work or performance so impeccable to the point of when someone reads, or reviews whatever we’ve accomplished they know we are an intelligent human being.

I say we stop over-thinking. I say we just do whatever is asked, or assigned and not care what people think. Because If your only goal Is to complete things so you can make someone else happy, then you’ll never be happy. But If you enter a task knowing that no matter what you’re giving the best, then you’ll be happy. And I think above all that is what counts. So I dedicate this post today to djmatticus.