I’m hoping my intuition will tell me if I got it wrong or right.
My faith is broken.
My heart is hardened,
I find myself unable to pardon a soul for even the tiniest of sins.
I’m a hypocrite because I need my own wrongdoings wiped away.
“How ironic,” The devil whispers in my ear, pure amusement in his tone.
So today marks my 3 year anniversary with WordPress! (The longest relationship I’ve ever had) Some people would shrug it off, or say that it’s no big deal, but to me it is. I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me this year in 2015, and getting that brief notification brightened my already sunny day. I’ve lost a bit of my steam recently, and I think the reason is because I’ve been suffering from writers block. (And by writer’s block I mean staring at a blank word document screen as if it’s retarded or something) I was suffering from not finding enough words to say, and that always scares me. I was feeling this way until I heard some music.
And by music I mean Ne-Yo latest sex themed cd.
Now some people find inspiration from the strangest things; I know food is one of many inspirational ways I get a word or two out; but it was something about these songs, and the underlying message. Now to the average person it’s about meeting someone, falling in love, and the actual act of love. Paired with some upbeat gym songs, you’ve got an average 2015 top Billboard album. But maybe it’s the adult-ness (if that’s a word) to the songs created; It seems as if his music has reached another level, and I along with others are able to participate in this music-driven journey.
Or maybe it’s me. I feel that I’ve matured and reached another level. I have evolved, especially in my writing, and you guys were here to see me become more skilled at a hobby that I love. I hope you all are good. I hope the past year has been good so far, and that you too have evolved into the person you want to become.
“You don’t know me but it’s not too late…” -Tom Swoon Feat. Amba Shepherd (From Not Too Late Bassnectar remix)
Firstly happy holidays. I love December. Apart from it being my second favorite month of the whole year,(my birthday is the first) I love the whole giving, Christmas, and giving cheer. I also love the amounts of foods being served. But I decided to do something different this year. While everyone else is contemplating eating twice the amount of the their body mass for basically the whole month I’ve decided to get, if possible healthier. I love the fatty delicious foods my mom places on the table; However I also love skinny jeans. I think that with everything you have to find a balance. Lately I have been way too unbalanced but I’ve decided no more.And who says you have to wait until January 1st to set unrealistic goals for yourself, when you can start now? I’ve been wanting to lose a serious amount of weight for some time now. My sister has encouraged me and helped me continuously by saying to me,
“Nikki, you can do it. I believe in you.”
So what am I doing? throwing away all the junk food in my house and re-upping my gym membership. She even picked out songs for me, that she said, “Was all me, and that I would understand once I was in the gym.” I could cry from how thankful I am to her. Well world I’m back.
“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner
So how’s it going? I’m good, just you know fighting a cold and all. But other than that I’m just peachy. Every time I get so excited because of the holidays and the simple Christmas (Or Holiday depending on what you celebrate) joys. For instance, I love the cold. Some people don’t like the chilly weather,and it makes them grumpy.
Not I, Not I.
I love pea-coats, boots, pumpkin spice latte’s, Sound Of Music, and anything else that resembles cold. I like receiving gifts,(ESPECIALLY THE BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING) but as I get older the one thing I enjoy immensely is giving to others, and just being happy. I used to think that I had to have a gift from others in order to have a good holiday. But I realized that I like not only buying myself things, but not to expect too much from others.
Now wait a second.
That may sound bitter, or resentful but it’s not.(At least from my point of view) I love the holidays, but one thing I learned is when you set goals for yourself, accomplished them, and even treated yourself for finishing said goals you become content. What I’m trying to say is that at first give the gift of you to yourself before you start expecting items from others. You will not only be happy, but at peace.
“All my young girls round me say get this money and screw these men…..”-Jeni
I want, I want, I want.
I need, I need, I need.
Whose gonna feed
heed, reed, speed,
I can’t proceed.
I’m in a vibe,
Can’t be bribed.
moving in a continuous slow motion,
Thoughts running freely,
Can’t see clearly.
Mind feels crazy,
Do you always watch me?
I’m losing composure.
“Open up your mind and just rest…” -Floetry
Good evening world,
So I’ve been good. I hope that you’ve been liking my (deep, thoughtful) poetry. I’ve been having a lot of fun writing it. It has allowed me to express myself in ways that I never thought possible. When something romantic, or even thoughtful hits my mind, I feel the need to write it. I don’t know if that’s how you feel, but instead of metaphorically having a pen and paper at my disposal daily I have my laptop. When inspiration strikes. Here I am. I just wanted to say thanks for liking and following my stuff and I hope you like what’s ahead.
Because I am sick of hearing about you know, EBOLA,ENTEROVIRUS,ISIS recruiting 12 year olds from North Dakota, women teachers having threesomes with 17 year old boys, more politicians lying,THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE,and anything else news related (AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING COMING FROM ME ONE NEWS JUNKIE) I’ve decided to regal you with my tales of new adventures.
Yesterday was my first day of Graduate school. Yep, you heard correctly;
Well folks let me tell you, it was a very enlightening day. It was fun (to me) getting up, and talking with others who wanted to pursue higher education. What I like so much about graduate school is when you get to this level everyone is pretty much chill. Now the work load is not,(FAR FROM IT) and it’s a good thing I’m a quick reader because otherwise I’d be screwed but I like how everyone applied because they wanted to be here and you’re all in the same boat, just different majors. It’s amazing how that works out. In my spare time I am also writing my poetry because it relaxes me and it allows me to be myself, and to really express how I’m feeling. It also makes me be able to reflect, and to read all of you guys’ amazing stuff and wonder, “how the heck did they create that amazing piece of work?”
You know important stuff.
Anyways I hope all is well with you. If you’re reading this and on a quarter school system and yesterday was the first day for you I hope it all went good. If you are nervous and because embarking in new territory makes you a little jittery, and unsure please believe you’ve got a friend.