Fall

There is pain in knowing.

Yet, time is ever slowing.

-N

Water

Fast, then slow.

It’s the way my emotions run through me.

Cold then hot,

It’s how I feel when you look at me.

Overtaxed and stimulated,

An unwanted mix.

-N

Gemini

I’m caught within time.

I’m caught between two lives.

The face I portray to the world, and you.

The face I give when it’s just me.

When I look in the mirror.

I’m afraid.

That you won’t like what I have to say.

That you won’t like what I feel.

That you may find me too sensitive or to passionate.

That I may not be enough.

Of course I could mold for you.

See the instant dislike and become whoever you desire.

But I fear I may lose my heart in the process.

I fear.

-N

There’s No Oxygen In The Room

No one understands me.
I’m pretending.

I’m not sure who I am.

I’m not sure you’ll like who you really see.

I’m not sure I can freely be me.

My heart hurts.

My chest burns.

I have no relief.

I can’t seem to see straight.

The weight of the world is on my shoulders.

I have no relief.

I can’t tell the truth.

It won’t set me free.

My body is tired.

I know no other option.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this.

Maybe my pain can give someone else comfort.

A moment of bliss.

My truth is I cannot tell it.

I hate myself.

I hate my thoughts.

My wants, and desires, and hope,

It’s been stripped from me.

Yet I have to be strong.

Always strong.

I cry at night and in the dark.

So that in the day I’m light and full of false snark.

-NR

No Introduction Needed

I woke up beside myself.

I took the news and let it destroy itself.

I took the pain,

And spent it on Balmain.

You were about to speak,

I didn’t want to feel weak.

-N

Je Regrette Le Jour Où Je Vous Jamais Confiance

My heart is broken.

My defenses are up.

My safe haven was snatched from under me.

I have too much fear.

There was something inside of you.

It took my light away.

-N

Je Ne Peux Plus Penser Ou Le Sommeil

I’ve said I’m lost before.

I’ve said that I don’t know where I am.

I’ve said before that I can’t breathe.

What do you think it means?

I feel like crying, but have run out of tears.

I feel like yelling but my voice has become hoarse.

I’m trying to take a deep breath,

But I can’t.

There is a layer of bricks on my chest.

I can’t cope.

-N

Je Déteste Quand La Chaleur Est Prévu

You’re angry.

You’re apprehensively aroused.

This unemotional object that I’ve seem to become.

This listless,

phlegmatic,

dispassionate,

woman I’ve become.

You look genuinely perplexed as to why I have become this soulless robot.

As if the dirty thong in your pants pocket wasn’t obvious enough on laundry day.

Question,

Avez-vous essuye les jus de la chatte sale votre visage quand vous etes venu chez moi embrasser?

Huh?

No?

Cat got your tongue?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned they say.

Hell hath no fury like a woman.

Hell hath no fury.

Hell.

You.

Huh, It fits.

-N

Je Me Suis Perdu Dans Le Temps

I awoke to the sounds of the night.

My eyes widened from lightning illuminating the sky.

My breath caught at the ominous sounds of thunder shaking my frame.

My skin tingled from the wind whipping across my face.

I pulled up my chair to watch the sky take out it’s anger on the world.

I reveled in the sounds of whimpers from the streets.

I laughed at the sounds of pain from the trees.

I was stuck in time.

I had no desire to leave.

-N

Minuit Confession Du Pécheur

Twisting and turning in this bed.

Legs in a vise grip.

Air levels are depleting.

Gasping for acceptance,

Gasping for love,

Gasping for truth,

Gasping for understanding.

I am a huge contradiction.

I am the thing I fear the most.

I shake my head no,

But spread my legs,

In desperate anticipation,

For the devil’s euphoric stroke and flow.

My chest heaves anxiously,

For his talented tongue to taste my skin,

I need this sin.

My nipples tighten in practiced rhapsody,

For the soulless being taking me to ecstasy.

My core soaks in abject blasphemy,

For the ignorant bliss he brings for the night.

Suffocation is here,

The man in black has [finally] re-appeared.

My affinity for the sinful,

For the debauchery,

For the unattainable,

Will be the death of me.

-N