Let Them Eat Cake

I will march no more.

My people have suffered since this country’s inception…

The ancestors being dragged onto this wretched shore.

I welcome violence,

luxuriate in the bloodshed,

Hope my oppressors are filled with dread.

Shaved

It was freeing, really.

Taking away what once controlled me.

It was hard to fathom previously,

Now, I feel the stares and revel in it deviously.

-N

Grim Reaper

…Came to collect.

Time was given.

Money was allotted.

Frivolity was limitless.

Now,

The moon was covered by the clouds.

The winds picked up from the east.

And rising from the ground, Death, suddenly appeared.

You were fascinated and terrified in equal measure.

But what more could you do?

This day had already been predicted to you.

-N

Strawberry Cheesecake

Rich and sweet,

That’s what eludes me.

Darkness and bitterness are what consumes me.

It shouldn’t be this way.

I should have a say in the divine.

Desire and duty always war within me.

…America

laughed at me.

Hissed, tried to lure me.

I’ve dived into her deep abyss before.

It’d be hours, weeks, days until I’d come ashore.

I’d try anything to not become this land’s whore.

-N

Witching Hour

I wonder would they love me if they knew my innermost thoughts.

I’ve been split for so long I don’t know how to be one whole person.

No rhyme or reason to this madness,

apparently it just exists within me.

-N

Speculum

The night was dark,

and I tried to ignore the longing.

The voice whispering in my ear keeping the angel at bay.

-N

Mind

It’s back.

That mental fog I hate so much.

It distracts me from what’s important.

I can’t focus, or I’m too focused.

The negatives are blown up exponentially.

The positives aren’t as great as I’d like them to be.

I’m low on energy.

I’m nervous, and anxious and-

I can’t say the next part.

I might be judged for that.

-N

The Inner Thoughts

I don’t think anyone really knows me.

I put on so many different faces, Sometimes I can’t even tell that it’s me.

I wish someone would give me a momentary peace.

I have so many thoughts,

Some troubling you see.

Are we just pretending?

Fitting in a world that seems never-ending?

Should I rip off the mask and let everyone see.

The true me?

Do I even know her?

Or was she crafted from months of taking on another persona?

-N

There’s No Oxygen In The Room

No one understands me.
I’m pretending.

I’m not sure who I am.

I’m not sure you’ll like who you really see.

I’m not sure I can freely be me.

My heart hurts.

My chest burns.

I have no relief.

I can’t seem to see straight.

The weight of the world is on my shoulders.

I have no relief.

I can’t tell the truth.

It won’t set me free.

My body is tired.

I know no other option.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this.

Maybe my pain can give someone else comfort.

A moment of bliss.

My truth is I cannot tell it.

I hate myself.

I hate my thoughts.

My wants, and desires, and hope,

It’s been stripped from me.

Yet I have to be strong.

Always strong.

I cry at night and in the dark.

So that in the day I’m light and full of false snark.

-NR