She had a bright smile,
Long black curly hair,
And a confident way about her.
This woman wore a white dress,
And a ring on her index finger.
No expensive handbag,
She was reading a book,
Eyes being tested.
All of a sudden she threw her head back and laughed.
A full-out, no-holds-barred laugh.
This woman had not a care in the world,
She laughed until her sides ached,
She laughed as if fully baked.
Oh how I envy that woman.
Who could laugh without a care in the world.
Who could throw her head back and enjoy life,
Who could soak up the sun without any strife.
“You’re just a lover out to score
I know that I should be looking for more
What could it be in you I see
What could it be..” -Deniece Williams (Silly)
So first, thanks for all the love you have shown to my poems. It’s an honor that you are reading my poetry. It’s the perfect outlet for me. I’ve always been a writer, and will always be one whether you’ve read it or not, but it’s nice to know that it’s appreciated. (Feeling self-important here please ignore lol)
Now on to the topic at hand.
So, as you know, I’ve been through some ups and downs for the 2014 year. Although I’ve been vague on my exact reasons, you can guess that they’ve been pretty bad. Worse at times even. But I’m not here to have a pity party, or to gain sympathy. I’m trying to enlighten and help someone who may feel the same as me. You see, as an avid observer of relationships (both fiction and non-fiction)I have seen the top and the bottom. It’s also sad when fiction becomes more reliable than the real thing.
Men my age, tend to not be interested in settling down. To me, that’s fine, because this isn’t the 50’s and 60’s so who wants the wife/kids/dog combo by 25?
Not realistic I tell ya.
But what happens when you see the older generations feeling trapped, or forced to be with someone? And not for love?
What happens then?
On a re-run on the Steve Harvey show (Christmas that’s the reason for the daytime television encore shows) He said that if a man is really serious about you, or even remotely interested he will have the 3 P’s: protect, provide, and possess. What does it mean if you don’t see it?
I hear people say all the time that you don’t want to rush a man, you shouldn’t pressure him, or he left because you just weren’t holding up your end of the bargain.
HOW IS THAT FAIR IN ANY WAY!
In my senior year of college for my British Literature class we read Mary Astell, whom I have grown very fond of (completely obsessed over) and in one of her letters she talks about women being in a constant lose-lose situation. How we are mocked if we care about clothes,furniture/decorating, and babies, but mock us if we don’t, calling us to manly, or too involved in education.
SO WHAT NOW?
I’m not mocking any woman who wants these things. I’ve even mentioned in my previous post how I have complete respect for the housewife. The problem I’m having is finding someone I can trust, and who will live up to his end of the bargain.
What I’m trying to say, if i’m saying anything at all is that I understand. I want to feel completely loved, have an adventure buddy, and a lover to call mine. The problem is, every time, the woman seems as if she has so much more to lose than the man.
Am I ready for that?
And what does this hold for women in the future? Are we bound to always having to settle?
“You don’t know me but it’s not too late…” -Tom Swoon Feat. Amba Shepherd (From Not Too Late Bassnectar remix)
Firstly happy holidays. I love December. Apart from it being my second favorite month of the whole year,(my birthday is the first) I love the whole giving, Christmas, and giving cheer. I also love the amounts of foods being served. But I decided to do something different this year. While everyone else is contemplating eating twice the amount of the their body mass for basically the whole month I’ve decided to get, if possible healthier. I love the fatty delicious foods my mom places on the table; However I also love skinny jeans. I think that with everything you have to find a balance. Lately I have been way too unbalanced but I’ve decided no more.And who says you have to wait until January 1st to set unrealistic goals for yourself, when you can start now? I’ve been wanting to lose a serious amount of weight for some time now. My sister has encouraged me and helped me continuously by saying to me,
“Nikki, you can do it. I believe in you.”
So what am I doing? throwing away all the junk food in my house and re-upping my gym membership. She even picked out songs for me, that she said, “Was all me, and that I would understand once I was in the gym.” I could cry from how thankful I am to her. Well world I’m back.