Coming Soon

Hello everyone!
It’s been a while, but I’m still here. My podcast was forced to go on a hiatus due to my own personal issues but I’m pleased to say that I am coming back! And expanding my podcast to more than poetry. Still working out the kinks but I hope that you guys like it and will follow and listen if interested. Anyway, Just wanted to let you know I’m still here.

-N

…Finally

It took some time,

Lost friends and family along the way, and it made me realize,

What’s important.

It took a lot of self-reflection,

Periods of not knowing,

To understand that I do know.

Thirty-one seems like a small feat to some,

But to me I’ve lived for enough lifetimes to come.

-N

Mind

It’s back.

That mental fog I hate so much.

It distracts me from what’s important.

I can’t focus, or I’m too focused.

The negatives are blown up exponentially.

The positives aren’t as great as I’d like them to be.

I’m low on energy.

I’m nervous, and anxious and-

I can’t say the next part.

I might be judged for that.

-N

…Anonymous

I’m back again.

I tried to leave but it didn’t work.

I tried to leave it behind but it came back.

It goaded me back into its dark confines.

I couldn’t say no.

I was on the straight and narrow for a while.

Proud that I was able to start again.

I’ve said that line for too long.

But the temptation was too strong.

The lure of your wicked promise so decadent.

High enough to feel but not enough to breathe.

This is reckless and-

You brought the necklace back.

Yeah.

-N

The Death of A Melanated Man

Your funeral was today.

The house was quiet.

The food was simmering.

I cooked your favorite meal with the pie you like.

It always gave me delight to watch you bite into what I created.

I always debated, waited with bated breath for you to taste it.

You’d roll your eyes and laugh at my fit.

The streets mourned you passing.

Still in shock we all came in caravans amassing and surpassing the church.

I sat in that front pew barely held together.

Something pieced together like paper does to glue.

The casket was closed,

your body which at one time was so strong,

fragile and decimated because of the evil forces that took you away from me.

I always vowed that nothing short of wild horses would take you from my grasp.

I had no idea that these wild horses were in uniforms given the license to kill.

Your death took away all of my will.

I just-it’s still.

-N

A Bit…

I was in the slums.

Mentally drained and felt no relief.

I tried valiantly to free myself.

But my soul and body were warring with one another,

causing a discord within me.

I would smile then scream,

Become reflective and deprecating.

I just,

I need a lil’ bit of-

I need this fog to clear.

This block in my eye.

keeps preventing me from the fly.

Confused at my own thoughts.

Yeah.

Expressions & Definitions

So I posted a new podcast episode. I read Edge Pieces by Brooke Freeman. She has a blog up on WordPress titled, “Low Expectations,” and I highly recommend you go and read some of her poetry. I will have her as a guest for next week’s podcast. If you are interested in reading some good poetry check her out, or click here to listen as I read her poem Edge Pieces.

-N

Low Expectations: https://lowexpectations56373273.wordpress.com

Addiction

Les Abysses

I try to tell it to stay away sometimes,

And for a while It will listen.

Appalled at my behavior to be kind,

Listen to reason,

Try and see the other’s person’s growing season,

IT wants nothing to do with me.

But there are weeks when it comes back.

Past midnight IT whispers in my ear tempting me with sin and delight!

How I bite my lip and withhold my moans for fear of IT noticing and my thoughts take flight.

I try to-

I just need-

Force these positive thoughts in and-

Est-ce que ca me tuerait de vivre une nuit de depravation?

IT walks toward me bed,

hovering over my face.

I can smell the sweet scent of his breath and the allure of-

No one can know.

This secret I hold dear.

Else I won’t be seen how I should be.

Instead they’ll only know of what became of me.

-N


	
Featured

My Podcast

Happy Friday everyone!

No real reason for the post today other than to remind anyone interested that I have a podcast and I love to feature up and coming poets. If you have poems that are based in the genre of love (romance, drama, unrequited love, bitterness, self love, anger, passion, etc) please feel free to send it my way. I will leave my email below in this post along with a link for the podcast so you can check it out!

By the way if you don’t want to be interviewed but you don’t mind me reading some of your work and talking about it please email me and we can even do that. Anyway, I look forward to hear from you!

-N

Podcast link: https://anchor.fm/nicole-renee5

Email: nicolew301@gmail.com

To My Love, Amir.

I’m suffocating.

I see my brothers and sisters dying for no reason, and it guts me.

Driving while black,

Sleeping while black,

Eating while black,

Talking while black,

Laughing while black,

Dancing while black,

Learning while black,

and the lists goes on.

There is no justice for me,

No peace for me.

Even though they tell me there will be.

Be what?

More pain?

More suffering?

I’m so used to physical pain,

I don’t know how to exist in a realm of sane.

This plague on my brain….

Yet I can’t complain.

Not supposed to anyway.

I’m just supposed to sway in the distance,

not be resistant,

be tolerant and coexistent.

Tell that to the people that oppress me.

That try to steal the light from under me.

I want to yell like a banshee,

but I have to be still, sit and grin with quiet glee.

It’s the American way they say.

American being white.

The white way.

Because that’s the right way.

To point out all the faults within this system would be unpatriotic.

But how can that be? At least for me?

My people worked these streets,

and built these buildings hoping one day they’d get a chance to truly see!

The need to return home is prevalent,

It is making me more than malevolent.

Oh to waddle in the dark night.

I straddle the fence of what is wrong, and right.

Ohhhhh, to be wrong for just one night.

-N