Pink Horizon

I took off the mask,

Basked in the knowledge that I am free.

I have been liberated,

the invisible chains have been broken,

I’m no longer worth a token.

The toxicity of this realm has stifled me.

Forced me to dwell in places that I never meant to be.

In, win, depends,

You know the drill.

I used to hold myself back,

So they’d cut me some slack.

I’m past all of that.

Going into a new year,

I’ve made a vow to be honest with myself.

To live my best life,

else I end up detesting myself.

-N

*Make sure to check out my podcast where I talk about all things poetry!

https://anchor.fm/nicole-renee5

Sadist

You left me for a while.

But you came back.

I have no slack.

I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.

What I’ve written,

What you’ve made me do.

My heart was broken.

I want you in too many ways.

I can’t say no though.

It’s not good for me.

This is a drug.

But I have to take another hit.

Just once more.

Then I promise I’ll go.

Promets juste que tu-

*Excerpt from my poetry book Love, Undefined By Nicole Renee. You can purchase it here.

Calling All Poets!

So, I have a podcast.

It’s on Anchor and Spotify. The name of my podcast is Expressions and Definitions by Nicole Renee. My station is themed around all genres of love. Hate, longing, betrayal, first-love, acceptance, self-love. I successfully interviews my first guest and it will air tomorrow. However, I would like to interview more up and coming poets. On Wednesday I would read your work, talk about it, and such, and that next Monday I would have you on my show to talk about your work. If you write any poems geared toward love and want a bit of exposure, then please contact me here, at my website or email. I will leave them in this email. Thank you so much and I look forward to hearing from all of you!

-Nicole

Author website: www.authornicolerenee.com

email: nicolew301@gmail.com

I HAVE A PODCAST!

YAY!

So, I have a podcast. It’s available on Spotify. It’s called Expressions and Definitions by Nicole Renee. I read poems centered around love and interviews new poets on what love means to them. I posted this here because I wanted to seek out poets. If you have some poems themed around love, (It can be sad, anger, betrayal) please contact me as I’d love to feature you!

-Nicole

Still

Bleeding,

Broken,

Mentally unstable.

My alarm clocks goes off for work.

Throw the covers off,

Try to ignore the cough,

Put on a smile and make sure to not question the boss.

There’s a pain in my chest,

Sound, wait, I must get dressed.

I’m distressed,

pressed, tested to the umpteenth degree.

The melanin in my skin shows otherwise.

I should be grateful,

Thankful,

In all aspects respectful.

I felt my heart stop,

my suit and heels are a prop.

“Where is my laptop?”

I can’t be late for work,

I can’t be late for life,

I can’t take a day off.

Because,

Because,

Because.

I still have to go on.

I still have to move forward.

Too many people depend on me.

Too many people need me,

Don’t you see?
I cannot be.

I was not afforded the luxury to only exist.

I must persist,

else I become dismissed.

Just one more day,

A few more minutes,

and then it’ll all be over.

-N

The Inner Thoughts

I don’t think anyone really knows me.

I put on so many different faces, Sometimes I can’t even tell that it’s me.

I wish someone would give me a momentary peace.

I have so many thoughts,

Some troubling you see.

Are we just pretending?

Fitting in a world that seems never-ending?

Should I rip off the mask and let everyone see.

The true me?

Do I even know her?

Or was she crafted from months of taking on another persona?

-N

A Styleless Style

I was confused as to what it means to write poetry.

Schools used to tell me what the definition meant,

I tried to follow their guidelines, but it wasn’t for me.

I just had to be.

I was hesitant to write about what I really see,

things concerned with strife.

I thought I had a handle on what it means to write poetry.

To always be introspective, and allow the audience to see the deepness in you.

The raw, the honest, may come off as too brutal,

Too much.

Until Friday.

Until yesterday.

Until today.

I went to my local library and immersed myself in the works of Solmaz Sharif,

Jenny Xie, and Carmen Gimenez Smith. I smiled when my hands ghosted across Maya Angelou, and sighed when I saw the well-loved and worn books of Lord Byron.

Each style was unique.

It was uniform in the fact that it had no uniform.

I loved being squeezed between the old bookshelves.

They were free of scorn.

-N

Make Love, Not War

You know, I’ve been hesitant to speak on anything related to the vaccine. Most of my friends know that I am not taking the vaccine. I have done extensive research (on both sides) and have come to the conclusion that it is not for me.


I am a thirty-one-year-old black woman who is capable of making my own decisions. My choice is not in any way influenced by my parents or family because I know family members (on my mom and dad’s side) who have gotten the shot and they are fine, still living their everyday lives.


The only reason I am even writing this is because I am absolutely appalled at the lack of tolerance and childlike pettiness I have seen from vaccinated individuals. I can’t speak for others but I am healthy. And I’m blessed because my father, mother as sister are as well.


I have always taken care of my body (pre-covid pandemic era) because being from San Francisco Bay Area (most millennial kids who had hippie parents will understand lol) you learn early on about healthy homeopathic ways to treat the body. Ever since I was a little girl my mother has always taken the natural way to treat my sister and I so what I am doing is nothing new to anyone who really knows me.


God has also blessed me with a career as a full-time educator and writer online that does not require me to be in-person and vaccinated so I understand those who took the vaccine for their own careers.


But back to the vax vs. the unvax.


In school, all I heard growing up was how it was important to respect others and their decisions.
In California especially I used to see Coexist and practice peace and tolerance all through the state.

If you choose to not get the vaccine you will not get any hate from me. But if you do get the vaccine you will not receive any hate from me. You did what was best for you and your life.
I don’t wish ill on any sides.

I am not writing this post to try and convince you to not get the shot. As a capable, educated adult (which most of my friends are on all my social media accounts 😊) you made the decision that was best for you based on the information that you compiled.

This is a safe space here. And I want both sides to know that you have a friend in me.
I love you all,

-Nikki

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7 KJV

Featured

The Great Fall

Once it was a beacon of light,

This shining hill dressed as a white knight.

Now it only brings hate,

Laying prone on the ground, and heavy as a freight.

I find myself mystified,

maybe naive, and wide-eyed as a victorian bride.

How far did we backslide?

When did I lose my greatest ally?

The contradictions are clear,

yet we still clamor and believe all because of fear.

I stand here,

Waiting, helpless, praying that you’ll appear.

Isn’t that right dear?

Won’t you loan me a few of your tears?

You see I’ve ran out,

When humanity chose the coward’s way and took the bailout.

There are no rebels here.

They lament, yet still adhere.

It’s troubling to see this clear!

Maybe it’s too soon,

Maybe it’s too late,

But soon you’ll see the weight,

compliances that morphed into mandates.

-N