Faults, flaws and all I like the evolution I’ve been through.
No longer processing,
Fully in my convalescence.
An Incurable Romance Writer
Faults, flaws and all I like the evolution I’ve been through.
No longer processing,
Fully in my convalescence.
You know, I’ve been hesitant to speak on anything related to the vaccine. Most of my friends know that I am not taking the vaccine. I have done extensive research (on both sides) and have come to the conclusion that it is not for me.
I am a thirty-one-year-old black woman who is capable of making my own decisions. My choice is not in any way influenced by my parents or family because I know family members (on my mom and dad’s side) who have gotten the shot and they are fine, still living their everyday lives.
The only reason I am even writing this is because I am absolutely appalled at the lack of tolerance and childlike pettiness I have seen from vaccinated individuals. I can’t speak for others but I am healthy. And I’m blessed because my father, mother as sister are as well.
I have always taken care of my body (pre-covid pandemic era) because being from San Francisco Bay Area (most millennial kids who had hippie parents will understand lol) you learn early on about healthy homeopathic ways to treat the body. Ever since I was a little girl my mother has always taken the natural way to treat my sister and I so what I am doing is nothing new to anyone who really knows me.
God has also blessed me with a career as a full-time educator and writer online that does not require me to be in-person and vaccinated so I understand those who took the vaccine for their own careers.
But back to the vax vs. the unvax.
In school, all I heard growing up was how it was important to respect others and their decisions.
In California especially I used to see Coexist and practice peace and tolerance all through the state.
If you choose to not get the vaccine you will not get any hate from me. But if you do get the vaccine you will not receive any hate from me. You did what was best for you and your life.
I don’t wish ill on any sides.
I am not writing this post to try and convince you to not get the shot. As a capable, educated adult (which most of my friends are on all my social media accounts 😊) you made the decision that was best for you based on the information that you compiled.
This is a safe space here. And I want both sides to know that you have a friend in me.
I love you all,
-Nikki
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7 KJV
There’s a discord,
between me and reality.
I’m living but I’m really not.
I’m breathing, but it’s artificial.
I keep feeling stuck,
But I have no idea on who to call.
I’m having another sleepless night
There’s a war raging within me.
I keep fighting the deep abyss,
I keep fighting gravity.
I keep soldiering on.
I keep walking on.
-N
I’ve said I’m lost before.
I’ve said that I don’t know where I am.
I’ve said before that I can’t breathe.
What do you think it means?
I feel like crying, but have run out of tears.
I feel like yelling but my voice has become hoarse.
I’m trying to take a deep breath,
But I can’t.
There is a layer of bricks on my chest.
I can’t cope.
-N
You’re angry.
You’re apprehensively aroused.
This unemotional object that I’ve seem to become.
This listless,
phlegmatic,
dispassionate,
woman I’ve become.
You look genuinely perplexed as to why I have become this soulless robot.
As if the dirty thong in your pants pocket wasn’t obvious enough on laundry day.
Question,
Avez-vous essuye les jus de la chatte sale votre visage quand vous etes venu chez moi embrasser?
Huh?
No?
Cat got your tongue?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned they say.
Hell hath no fury like a woman.
Hell hath no fury.
Hell.
You.
Huh, It fits.
Hello world!
So I had a religious experience this weekend. It was full of wisdom, deep insight, and I left feeling completed, sated, and spiritually blessed.
I had my revival service at the Magic Mike XXL premier this weekend.
As I was sitting in the theaters, watching the many previews, and waiting with bated breath for my favorite boys to light up the silver screen, I was thinking about the objectification of women.
In society, especially in the good ole’ U.S. Of A. women are judged constantly by what we wear, how we act, and what we should want versus what we actually want. (Good old fashioned, toe-curling, coma inducing, hair pulling orgasms, [yes plural] followed by good food, conversation, and possibly a relationship) However, if a naked woman comes on during a commercial break, and says anything remotely sexual, or holding anything representing a phallic shape, best believe the National Organization for Women will be on that commercial like white on rice.
Don’t get me wrong; I agree with all the women’s organizations, and such. No woman should be objectified, criticized, or demeaned just because of what is on her chests, and between her legs. But say we took a different approach; What if some women (Not all, of course) basked in the objectification? Men do it sometimes, (As seen throughout the film) and seem to flourish under all the attention. Are we being too sensitive?
Again, just an observation, nothing else.
I’m not calling Magic Mike XXL a stimulating, intellectual, IFC film; What you see is what you get, and the title says it all. But what if we took the same approach as the magnificent strippers and just not give a fuck?
Now wait! I’m not going to sit here and waste over 1,000 words boring you about all the gorgeous men and their abs, the dancing, sex, lots of ass, Twitch, abs, roll on the floor laughter moments, Tarzan, Matt Bomer, abs, long *ahem* manhood troubles, (did I mention abs?) and such. I’m not even going to tell you about Mike’s past life, and his alter ego, (A.K.A. white chocolate) or the amount of feels you’ll get listening to some 90’s, and early 2000’s throwback music.
No, I’m not going to say go see it at all.
😉
-N
I found my victim.
A weak, helpless being.
She called herself a girl.
Girl, boy, it doesn’t matter.
In the whole scheme of things it never matters.
She begged,
Pleaded until her voice was gone.
“Mercy!” she shouted.
“Leniency!” she cried.
She shook in her chains,
But that only made me laugh harder.
She spit in my face,
But that only made me harder.
I’m only paying it forward.
I’m only returning the gratitude,
The world has bestowed upon me.
I digress,
Tight with anticipation,
From the final release,
Of my stress.
-N
She had a bright smile,
Long black curly hair,
And a confident way about her.
This woman wore a white dress,
Strappy heels,
And a ring on her index finger.
No make-up,
No expensive handbag,
Just herself.
She was reading a book,
Deeply invested,
Breath arrested,
Eyes being tested.
All of a sudden she threw her head back and laughed.
A full-out, no-holds-barred laugh.
This woman had not a care in the world,
She laughed until her sides ached,
She laughed as if fully baked.
Oh how I envy that woman.
Who could laugh without a care in the world.
Who could throw her head back and enjoy life,
Who could soak up the sun without any strife.
-N
Hello world!
So today marks my 3 year anniversary with WordPress! (The longest relationship I’ve ever had) Some people would shrug it off, or say that it’s no big deal, but to me it is. I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me this year in 2015, and getting that brief notification brightened my already sunny day. I’ve lost a bit of my steam recently, and I think the reason is because I’ve been suffering from writers block. (And by writer’s block I mean staring at a blank word document screen as if it’s retarded or something) I was suffering from not finding enough words to say, and that always scares me. I was feeling this way until I heard some music.
And by music I mean Ne-Yo latest sex themed cd.
Now some people find inspiration from the strangest things; I know food is one of many inspirational ways I get a word or two out; but it was something about these songs, and the underlying message. Now to the average person it’s about meeting someone, falling in love, and the actual act of love. Paired with some upbeat gym songs, you’ve got an average 2015 top Billboard album. But maybe it’s the adult-ness (if that’s a word) to the songs created; It seems as if his music has reached another level, and I along with others are able to participate in this music-driven journey.
Or maybe it’s me. I feel that I’ve matured and reached another level. I have evolved, especially in my writing, and you guys were here to see me become more skilled at a hobby that I love. I hope you all are good. I hope the past year has been good so far, and that you too have evolved into the person you want to become.
-N
“..My insecurities, my devious nature, make it go away.” -Sola Sistim
I’ve come to the realization that I need love.
Not a relationship,
Not a good feeling,
But love.
I can’t find it,
I’m constantly in search of it,
Can you help me?
Is it at the bottom of a bottle,
Is is wrapped up in a man?
Is it the sexual gratification one can obtain so freely?
Give me,
Something.
Give me more.
Give me something
something that ascends sex,
something more than emotional.
Give me something spiritual.
Give me a light at the end of the tunnel.
Promise to never leave,
Promise to beg,
to stay,
to plead.
To never be filled with greed.
I grieve,
for what I see.
-N