I’m back again.
I tried to leave but it didn’t work.
I tried to leave it behind but it came back.
It goaded me back into its dark confines.
I couldn’t say no.
I was on the straight and narrow for a while.
Proud that I was able to start again.
I’ve said that line for too long.
But the temptation was too strong.
The lure of your wicked promise so decadent.
High enough to feel but not enough to breathe.
This is reckless and-
You brought the necklace back.
I try to tell it to stay away sometimes,
And for a while It will listen.
Appalled at my behavior to be kind,
Listen to reason,
Try and see the other’s person’s growing season,
IT wants nothing to do with me.
But there are weeks when it comes back.
Past midnight IT whispers in my ear tempting me with sin and delight!
How I bite my lip and withhold my moans for fear of IT noticing and my thoughts take flight.
I try to-
I just need-
Force these positive thoughts in and-
Est-ce que ca me tuerait de vivre une nuit de depravation?
IT walks toward me bed,
hovering over my face.
I can smell the sweet scent of his breath and the allure of-
No one can know.
This secret I hold dear.
Else I won’t be seen how I should be.
Instead they’ll only know of what became of me.
You left me for a while.
But you came back.
I have no slack.
I can’t believe what you’ve made me feel.
What I’ve written,
What you’ve made me do.
My heart was broken.
I want you in too many ways.
I can’t say no though.
It’s not good for me.
This is a drug.
But I have to take another hit.
Just once more.
Then I promise I’ll go.
Promets juste que tu-
*Excerpt from my poetry book Love, Undefined By Nicole Renee. You can purchase it here.
It makes me feel alive.
It makes me feels things I haven’t felt in such a long time.
I’m a slave to the ink.
I’m adulterous to the blank paper.
I commit all of the seven deadly sins to see the smile,
The look of appreciation on your face.
To see the review you leave in memory,
In my place.
I see space.
Here is my offering.
I hope you take it.
No, don’t hesitate,
I can’t seem to stop.
My God, have I reached the top?
Have I lost my mind?
Where is the time?
She’s normally here to save me from this malice.
I need it.
I inhale it.
I lay by my bed waiting for more.
You’re still here.
You haven’t let me down,
You’re always there.
You’re still here.
Keeping me warm and clear.
I’ve never traveled down this road before.
It’s been full of strife and tears.
Will you two disappear?
come to naught?
You get my drift.
I need this lift,