So I’ve been self-reflecting all day. At the gym, in the grocery store, even on the drive home. One thing that stuck out to me is how far I’ve come. Around this time last year I was struggling. Both emotional and physical. I’ve made so much progress. The sun on my face added to my feelings of peace, joy, and optimism. Something that was seriously lacking from me. Everything is finally looking up. And I’ve got to say It’s about time.
I want to be free,
But there always seems to be a fee.
People hold you back,
Sometimes get you off track,
Leaving you to pick up the slack.
I took myself dancing last night.
My heart was so happy, and my feet light.
I took flight.
For hours on the dance floor my body took flight.
I looked around the dimly-lit room,
People so close together, and yet so far away.
Drawn by the sway,
Or the courage of the moon on the bay.
I moved to the center of the room,
Nodding my head to the pulsing of Flume.
I was new,
I was through with being a shrew.
I danced, laughed, and took a brew.
I stumbled upon a creek today.
I saw this opening along the way.
I felt and heard the music of the bird’s day.
I felt so alive,
I felt I could survive.
I breathed in the fresh spring air.
I ran my fingers through my hair.
I finally took a breath and challenged a dare.
It seems we are at a standstill.
I don’t know how I should feel.
I love you but I am afraid.
Afraid of what they’ll say,
Afraid of you being away,
I wish I was stronger.
I wish I could give you something that’ll last longer.
You gave the whole portrait of yourself.
I asked in the beginning,
You said yes, and danced along the shelf.
I wanted to as well but I was scared of what I would see in myself.
I haven’t looked in a mirror in so long,
Wanted to avoid the memories of a sad love song.
I have to be honest,
So I can let you go,
And you find someone full of promise.
I was reading a certain woman’s blog today. Hearing some of her story, and what they’ve had to overcome has been beautiful, amazing, and inspiring. Being able to share your story, no matter the difficulty, always inspires me to write, and to never give up. This is for you E.
You see I’ve been broken,
I’ve been held back,
And any other adjective the powers that be would have it.
I love life,
Yet I’m criticized for it.
I love food,
But I’m told to not consume in abundance.
I shall travel one day.
I shall have my vengeance on those that naysay.
I should try,
All those that say I can’t do.
Who dare to correct me?
I’m like a bird you see.
A lot to see and not enough time for a reprieve.
I shall eat a peach,
I shall preach,
On what you can do for me.
You should be my congregation and agree.
It matters not what you choose to be.
You shall see world.
You shall see.
Gasping for breath,
wet from the core.
This is what you do to me.
Can hardly speak,
Ready to peak.
Let me lose control.
I’m too wound up.
I’ve given up on the world.
This fight gets old.
The rain falls,
As do my tears of joy.
Your body rubs against mine.
You whisper words I rarely hear.
You grip my thighs,
You haul me closer.
You say you like the way I ride,
How you’d like to stay inside,
This is where you should reside.
You trace my ear with your tongue.
I grip the sheets in shock and pleasure.
I’m young you see.
I’ve not learned the tricks and trade,
On how a woman should be.
I surrendered for the day.
I loved through the night,
By daylight I will be all right.
I’m grasping for something.
I don’t know what it is but it’s something.
My mind is constantly wondering,
trying to figure out what’s good for me,
what’s best for me.
You see, I’ve been down some windy roads,
sometimes unclear of the way I should go.
that’s all that seems to come out on the paper.
You have a feeling it’s close.
You don’t want to rush it,
Consequences happen to people who rush.
Maybe I feel caged.
Like the bird at the zoo or the lion on display.
Yes, very exotic, and nice to look at,
but trapped nonetheless.
My heart is free but my sole is not.
I’m locked in a room.
A room of my own choosing,
But a room nonetheless.
I need to breathe,
So I could seethe.
Constantly gnash my teeth,
Is that yellow?
I need space.
My body waits in anticipation for the fates.
Hurry say something!
Say something quick before I die!
Or be shy.
I need you like the sun needs the sky.
I’m disappearing you see,
This drink won’t let me be.
I need food.
Nourishment for the body and soul.
I have no control.
The voices I hear are becoming louder,
The ominous footsteps closer,
Walking to the beat of a silent composer.
My breath stops,
My heart skips a beat.
The door swings open,
My body completely frozen.
I’m locked in a room.
A room of my own choosing,
But a room nonetheless………
I wanna go some where.
some where far.
Not a bar,
I need a place,
A thinking space,
Leave no trace.
All the obstacles I face.
Make my love,
Featherlight as a dove.
I stand in the road with keys in my hand,
Will you be my man?