An Incurable Romance Writer
Help, I’ve done it again.
Where do I begin.
The words I’ve been wanting to say,
I’ve kept them at bay.
Please pray,
So I can stay.
I’ve been lost,
still haven’t been found.
I’ve been awry,
hence the internal fry.
I can’t try.
Where’s my drive?
Take me away,
So I can say.
That’s all for today.
-N
Heart beats quickly.
I can’t breathe.
This heady sensation.
No don’t stop,
keep going.
If all I can have is pleasure,
Then let me treasure.
Laying on this bed,
feels like paradise.
My heart feels compromised;
Yet I roll the dice.
You lean over my body.
You whisper in my ear,
You tell me things a woman should hear.
Feeling open,
Exposed,
Where is the fire coming from?
This internal steam.
You make me cream.
You scare me because you make me dream.
Dream about more than the average,
To reach for something above and beyond.
Because of your hands,
You have me doing things I don’t understand.
You make me second guess what I thought I knew.
How could I never had a clue?
You hold my body as a person should.
You tell me to trust,
You tell me it’s a must.
I’m trying, but it’s hard.
I tell you but you kiss me,
Hold me,
Shake your head and tell me that you can keep me safe and warm.
I shake my head and disagree.
I tell you,
It’s so hard to give something you fear being broken.
Used,
Overlooked.
You caress my face,
And tell me of a place we will go.
You tell me to close my eyes,
And you will make all the worry subside.
Seen, scream, beam.
You know the theme.
I take a sip from the flask,
and take off the mask.
-N
Something’s wrong.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know which way,
to go.
I feel stuck.
I wish I could put into words how I feel.
It’s really making me ill.
I feel bitter,
but something more.
I feel tired,
But there’s gotta be another word.
I feel beat up.
The world’s got it’s licks,
that’s for sure.
I can’t even rhyme.
I feel like i’m out of time.
I need to be alone.
I need to go somewhere and lick my wounds.
I need to go where I can find comfort.
I need a fort.
I need to not feel emotionally drained when I first wake up.
Can you help me?
You see, my mind won’t let me be.
-N
It’s dark.
I can’t seem to find my mark.
I’ve arrived upon the shark.
Where’s the time?
Surely I’ve not run out of mind?
Could you help me find?
I decline,
Steadily, and with certainty,
I decline.
I need a hand.
Someone whose willing to stand.
Yet I press on.
Foolishly, and with no navigation,
No direction,
No thought out procession,
I press on.
I know,
I have to go.
I have to reach that place,
Where bodies are constantly pressed together.
Feelings that scratch the surface,
Light as a feather.
I need something to keep me warm,
From this incoming storm.
I need that form.
The one that makes me forsake the feelings….
Normal,
Nothing formal is what I should have.
But the abnormal is what keeps me satisfied.
It keeps the beast that lives inside me satiated,
Not feeling emaciated,
incapacitated,
Starving for flesh.
Is this a test?
If so I believe you’ve found my weakness.
You I believe have bested me.
Cheers for finding my fears,
and bringing them up for me to be lost,
to be unclear.
-N
It’s cold.
I’m happy and drenched in gold.
No one is by my side,
And for once I have a sense of pride.
Don’t chide.
I needed to belong,
Something lifelong.
So I became strong.
I feel bold.
Not bought or sold.
I mold.
I’m ready,
Feet planted steady,
This power heady.
The road is open,
Not broken.
Yeah I had some cracks along the way.
But the new me is fully reformed,
And here to stay.
-N
JustNicoleRenee 