“..My insecurities, my devious nature, make it go away.” -Sola Sistim
I’ve come to the realization that I need love.
Not a relationship,
Not a good feeling,
I can’t find it,
I’m constantly in search of it,
Can you help me?
Is it at the bottom of a bottle,
Is is wrapped up in a man?
Is it the sexual gratification one can obtain so freely?
Give me more.
Give me something
something that ascends sex,
something more than emotional.
Give me something spiritual.
Give me a light at the end of the tunnel.
Promise to never leave,
Promise to beg,
To never be filled with greed.
for what I see.
“I don’t think an hour would hurt…” -Christina Aguilera (Morning Dessert Intro From Bionic CD)
Firstly I know that I can be late to some things but have you heard this song from Christina’s Bionic album?
Well you need to get on it.
Anyways as I was listening to the song (And it’s lovely sexual undertones) I was thinking:
It’s time to join the real world.
You see, I came home from college, and learned some things. One of the many lessons I learned was everything is never as it seems. I came believing one thing but was completely blindsided. As I mentioned in a previous post (yesterday’s) you need to already be prepared for anything that comes,(good or bad) and be able to not only make yourself happy, but realize that people may not see you or a certain situation a certain way.
Sadly I did not feel this way last year. Even though I preached one message, I still felt that I would have that human savior that would work as my Clark Kent no matter what.
What girl wouldn’t?
However my eyes were opened,messages were revealed (good and bad) and I didn’t know how to handle them.
I’m so glad that I’ve come to these realizations. Maybe it was meant for me to learn these lessons. Maybe it was meant to be dealt with before the new year. Whatever the case, I am now, and will forever be;
“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner
So how’s it going? I’m good, just you know fighting a cold and all. But other than that I’m just peachy. Every time I get so excited because of the holidays and the simple Christmas (Or Holiday depending on what you celebrate) joys. For instance, I love the cold. Some people don’t like the chilly weather,and it makes them grumpy.
Not I, Not I.
I love pea-coats, boots, pumpkin spice latte’s, Sound Of Music, and anything else that resembles cold. I like receiving gifts,(ESPECIALLY THE BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING) but as I get older the one thing I enjoy immensely is giving to others, and just being happy. I used to think that I had to have a gift from others in order to have a good holiday. But I realized that I like not only buying myself things, but not to expect too much from others.
Now wait a second.
That may sound bitter, or resentful but it’s not.(At least from my point of view) I love the holidays, but one thing I learned is when you set goals for yourself, accomplished them, and even treated yourself for finishing said goals you become content. What I’m trying to say is that at first give the gift of you to yourself before you start expecting items from others. You will not only be happy, but at peace.
“All my young girls round me say get this money and screw these men…..”-Jeni
I want, I want, I want.
I need, I need, I need.
Whose gonna feed
heed, reed, speed,
I can’t proceed.
I’m in a vibe,
Can’t be bribed.
moving in a continuous slow motion,
Thoughts running freely,
Can’t see clearly.
Mind feels crazy,
Do you always watch me?
I’m losing composure.
“The measure of a man….” -Hercules
“It doesn’t matter what color you are…” -Pocahontas
“Family comes in all shapes and sizes..”
“Beauty is not only external…” -Beauty and the beast
“As a king be wise…” -The Lion King
So I was bored tonight. I turned on Netflix and I browsed the children section. As I scrolled through the list I smiled at all of the good disney films of the 90’s. I saw Tarzan, Mulan, Lion King, and Pocahontas. (lol I know right?) One thing that I kept smiling about was all the great morale stories learned as a kid. It was clean, innocent, and tween girls were not naked. What I also enjoyed was the lack of illuminati symbols in the music and movies. Maybe I’ve aged (a lot) but I’m tired of seeing naked girls talking about what it would be like to kiss a boy or even sneak out a night. What i’m saying is that what we allow as a culture. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Now don’t get me wrong; I loved Magic Mike and all of the XXL films I have seen,(wink wink) but one thing I’ve learned is everything should be in the right time.